You don’t have to try, you just have to be.

You don’t have to try, you just have to be.David Viscott

Perhaps a deserted beach isn't for you. Where would you relax, and just enjoy the moment?

Perhaps a deserted beach isn’t for you. Where would you relax, and just enjoy the moment?

What does that mean?
To me, this quote is about the age-old struggle. On one hand, we feel a need to excel, to do something, to be someone, to be important, or to matter in some way, shape or form.

Yet it is not necessary. We are all of these things, just by being ourselves. While this isn’t exactly a rallying cry to sloth, it is a reminder of our own inner selves. Sometimes doing less really is more.

The point is most of us try too hard. We try to be the best at something. We try to impress others. We try to become famous, influential, or important. And often in so doing, we lose ourselves.

Many of us have even forgotten the value of relaxing. We ‘relax’ by reading a thrilling book, or watching a violent movie, or getting wound up over a sports game. We so rarely simply are.

Why is taking time to truly relax important?
So it’s time for a vacation. Some R&R, recharge the batteries, have some fun, and blow off a little steam. You start with frantic packing, hoping you haven’t forgotten anything important. You rush to the airport, and then stress for hours going through screenings. Then you wait in uncomfortable chairs for hours more.

When you get to your destination, you spend frantic moments searching for your luggage among the mass of bags. Then you rush to rent a car or catch a shuttle. Then off to the hotel, where you stress out, because there are hundreds of other people checking in all at once, or at least it feels that way.

Now you finally slog your way to your room, and drop your bags. What a great start to a vacation, right? A quick change of clothes and you’re off sight-seeing, and running from event to event, because you don’t want to miss a thing. But what you’re missing is the whole point of a vacation. You forgot to relax.

Yes, there are people who thrive on this kind of activity, but most people do not. I imagine you don’t either. But until recently, that’s the way I did it, because that’s the way I always did it. But there has to be a better way, I thought. And that’s when I rediscovered me, and simply being. And I believe it was an important discovery.

Where can I apply this in my life?
The trip I mentioned above was probably our fifth or sixth time there, so we’d already rushed and stressed about getting to see all the sights before. We went because we had some time, and it was a free trip (a time share thing), so we went. We did go see things. We did go and do things. But we relaxed.

We had no set schedule, and we limited ourselves to one or two things per day. We spent the rest of the time relaxing by the pool, or hanging out in our room with the kids. We didn’t try too hard, and we simply relaxed. We, in short, stopped trying, and decided to simply be. It was quite refreshing.

It wasn’t the vacation with the best stories. It wasn’t the vacation with the best pictures. But it was a fun, meaningful, and relaxing vacation, which allowed us bond as a family just a little bit tighter. I can’t guarantee that our next vacation will be as relaxed, as new places have new sights to see, but I will remember this lesson.

Where in your life do you tend to stress out? How do you try to relax? How do you unwind? How do you get to that place where you simply are? That’s a tough question for most people. Very few of us practice the simple act of being. To me, that implies being quiet, relaxed, and introspective.

For some, that might sound like the perfect definition of meditation. To others, the thought of lying in the sun with a cold beverage poolside is just as close a definition. How we go about doing it, to me, isn’t as important as making sure we remember to do it from time to time.

When was the last time you truly relaxed? A couple of hours a week is one thing, eight to twelve hours a day, well that’s gotta be sloth, right? Relaxing a few hours each week is between the extremes of all work and all play, to steal a motif from a different quote.

And to me, the weekly break is a great way to relax without having to budget for a grand vacation. Of course, there are ways to re-live some of your favorite vacations, through sounds, scents, or pictures and movies which remind you of those wonderful times. Have you ever done that, imagining you were somewhere else?

I believe that the point of this quote isn’t to tell you to be slothful or lazy, but to remember to simply be. To be yourself, to find yourself, to remember to be true to yourself. It is far too easy to forget some of these things. And it only gets worse when we try to get it back by, wait for it, trying harder.

Take a few moments each morning and let yourself relax. Yeah, you still have to go to work, but a five minute mini-vacation to Maui may be just what you need to face that dreaded planning meeting, or helping the kids with their homework. At least it works for me. Try it, you might like it.

From: Twitter, @ZenProverbs
confirmed at :…/you-dont-have-to-try-you-just-have-to-be
Photo by Joe King

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