We will act consistently with our view of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not. – Tony Robbins and here
Subtle? Not me.
What does that mean?
To me, this states that what we believe ourselves to be, we will act in that manner. Specifically, if we believe we are worthless, that is how we will expect others to treat us, and how we will value ourselves.
Conversely, if we think we are the best, that is how we will expect others to treat us. This will be the case if whether we actually are that good or not (competence vs arrogance).
The implication of this quote is that if you don’t like how you are acting, the proper place to change your actions is with your view of ourselves and the beliefs that underpin that view.
Why is self-image important?
According to this quote, your self-image is the foundation for how you will act, and how you value yourself. If you want to change your actions, you can fix each action, one at a time, or you can change your self-image and cause massive change across your whole life.
Everyone has a self-image. That self-image will contain some good things about yourself and some things that aren’t that good. Some beliefs will empower you, and others will drag you down. The trick is to keep the best parts of your current self-image and replace those parts that are no longer helpful to you.
Where can I apply this in my life?
Think of someone you know who smokes. If you asked them to describe themselves, they would probably say they were a smoker. With that as part of their self image, is it any wonder why so many people have difficulty quitting and staying a non-smoker? Without a change of self-image, a smoker is fighting a loosing battle with their pre-existing self image.
If they first change their self-image and believe themselves to be newly created non-smokers, would you imagine their journey might be a little easier? They will try to be consistent with what they believe themselves to be, and if they are no longer smokers, they will be far less likely to start again than someone who still viewed themselves as a smoker who was trying to quit.
Your self-image is based on your beliefs about yourself. Each of those beliefs are based on a series of events that support that belief. To change the belief, you need a series of counter-examples to break the present supports for the belief you want to change. Then you need to have a new belief to replace the old one.
Going back to the example of the smoker who is trying to quit, perhaps they believe that they are a smoker for the following reasons:
- their parents were, so they are smoker.
- their friends are, so they are a smoker.
- they have been for 20 years, so they are a smoker.
- they’ve tried to quit before and failed each time, so they are a smoker.
They would be replacing the belief that they are a smoker with a belief that they are now a non-smoker. They now need to find counter-examples for each prior belief, which may include the following new reasons:
- they are not their parents, they can make their own choices.
- their friends are all different, and they can upgrade their friends.
- every day is a new beginning, they can choose their own path.
- there are other things they have succeeded at, so they can successfully quit.
The final stage is to provide support for the new belief. Nature abhors a vacuum, so the old belief will come back if it isn’t replaced and supported. The new belief is that they are now a non-smoker. This can be supported by some new reasons:
- as an adult, they can make their own decision, and be an example for their kids.
- friends make their own decisions, they don’t decide for anyone else.
- every day is a new start, and they wake up a non-smoker.
- if one smoke makes you a smoker, then one refusal to smoke makes you a non-smoker.
I know this was fairly focused on one single hypothetical problem. I felt it was better to go completely through the method once with as common a self-image issue as I could come up with. To apply this to a wider range of issues, determine what dis-empowering belief you wish to replace in your life.
Write it down, then write down at least three, but preferably all the reasons you feel the belief is true (all the supporting examples that convince you that it’s true). Come up with at least one counter-example for each of the reasons you have written down. This may take a little time and some extra paper, but it’s worth it.
Now that you have busted up that old belief and shattered all the so-called supporting arguments, it’s time write down the replacement belief. This is usually the same topic, but in a more empowering direction (like the change from smoker to non). Finish it off with as many examples or reasons for that belief as you can. The more the merrier!
Imagine how much of yourself you could change if you used this technique each time you detected a dis-empowering belief. Imagine scraping all the crap off your self image and making it all shiny and nice. It can be done, and if you stick to the truth, you won’t get a head that’s too big for the room.
From: Twitter, @motivatquotes
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/tonyrobbin147772.html
Photo by matteo.maretto
