I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

Posted on 21 October 2013 by philosiblog

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Is it a coach or his dad? Does it matter if they are encouraging them and helping them improve?

The coach or dad? Does it matter if they are encouraging them and helping them improve?

What does that mean?
This is a quote often used to woo a lover, or to smooth things over with a loved one after an issue has been resolved. However, again, I believe the quote can be applied to a larger group than just our lover. I believe that this quote can be applied to nearly all of humanity, if we are willing to try.

This is a shortened version of a longer quote, which is:

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”

With the longer quote in mind, this could easily be applied to a mentor or teacher. It could also apply to many of your closer friends, those who helped you learn more about yourself.

It can also apply to anyone who believed in you, who encouraged you when you may have had doubts about yourself or your abilities. It is my belief that this quote is about all the best motivations we have as humans.

Why is encouragement important?  Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, exceptionalism, help, leadership, love, motivation | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Anger destroys our peace of mind and causes trouble. It also hampers our ability to function properly.

Posted on 20 October 2013 by philosiblog

Anger destroys our peace of mind and causes trouble. It also hampers our ability to function properly. – Dalai Lama

He doesn't quote look angry, yet. Peace of mind looks to be destroyed. Will he learn how to calm himself?

He doesn’t seem to be angry, yet. His peace of mind looks to be destroyed. Trouble may be on the horizon. His ability to function, diminished. Will he learn how to calm himself?

What does that mean?
At the beginning of the quote, it talks about how anger destroys our peace of mind. I don’t know about you, but when I’m angry, my peace of mind goes away quickly. These two are, in my opinion and experience, antagonist emotions.

And while it is possible to get into trouble when in other emotional states, if one is angry, it seems to be far easier to accomplish. Anger and trouble are often seen walking together. It’s an unpleasant combination. If you haven’t been there, trust me, you don’t want them to visit you.

That brings us to the close of the quote. Anger and our ability to function properly. As humans we function on logical and emotional levels. Anger messes with our logic, and completely twists our emotions. That’s a one-two punch to proper function, right?

Why is working on remaining calm when angry important?  Continue reading →

Posted in anger, calm, discipline, gentle, improve, time | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good.

Posted on 19 October 2013 by philosiblog

I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good. – Seneca

There are still places where certain books are banned because of their content or their author. What is with us, people?

There are still places where certain books are banned because of content or author. Protect children, but let the rest of us learn.

What does that mean?
This is a variant translation of a longer quote, which talks about being the bearer of bad news, and his willingness to do so, in a good cause. The example used was telling sailors about to leave of an approaching storm.

This quote is an interesting twist on the longer version of the quote. None the less, it poses an interesting question. How bad would an author have to be before you would refuse to cite them, even if their words applied?

Was Nero too brutal and bloody for you to ever quote him? What about Hitler? Is there anyone who you would write off because you considered them to be too bad of a person? That is an interesting thought, isn’t it?

What if the ‘bad’ used wasn’t modifying the character of the author, but their quality of writing? Is there anyone who has writing so bad that you would not quote them under any circumstances? Can you explain why?

Why is valuing wisdom important?  Continue reading →

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Men are born to succeed, not fail.

Posted on 18 October 2013 by philosiblog

Men are born to succeed, not fail. – Henry David Thoreau

Ooops! Fail! To achieve driving success, you will have to learn from this experience, and try again.

Fail! To achieve driving success, you will have to learn from this experience, and try again.

What does that mean?
While some might feel this quote is overly optimistic, I believe it is exactly right. When we are born, we can do nothing. We can hardly breathe.

We can’t feed ourselves unless something is put in our mouths. We’re a mess. Any progress from there is a success. As we grow, we try more things, learn what works and what does not, and have continued success.

Yes, there may be a setback or two (or three, if you’re really unlucky), but eventually you succeed at walking, talking, and feeding yourself. You were not born to fail, although some choose that path.

Life is challenging. Each day brings some old and some new challenges. We easily rise to conquer some of them, others are a bit more difficult. But if we keep learning and keep trying, we will eventually succeed.

Why is persistence important?  Continue reading →

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Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.

Posted on 17 October 2013 by philosiblog

Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones. – John Lennon

If you don't recognize this icon of American Politics, this is Honest Abe Lincoln.

If you don’t recognize this icon of American Politics, this is Honest Abe Lincoln. He could not tell a lie, so rumor has it.

What does that mean?
This quote is about a quality which I have fairly strong feelings: honesty. I believe that anyone who expects you to lie to them has at least an ego problem, if not many others.

This quote states that being honest will likely cost you a number of friends. Telling people the hard truths will offend some. That’s OK. If they walk out of your life in a huff, even better.

The ones who leave, they weren’t really friends, were they? They may have been close acquaintances, but my definition of a friend requires an ability to tell and receive the truth, even the ones which are a little unpleasant.

The quote ends by saying that the ones who remain, those are your true friends. They can take the truth, although they may give you some coaching on tact afterwards. These are the people who are strong enough to take the truth, and to give it back to you, when you need it most.

Why is the truth important?  Continue reading →

Posted in character, effort, friendship, honest, integrity, question | Tagged , , , , | 17 Comments

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?

Posted on 16 October 2013 by philosiblog

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? – C.S. Lewis

About 60 years ago, this tree was planted as a small thing. It didn't grow quickly, but it did keep changing, day by day.

About 60 years ago, this tree was planted as a small thing. It didn’t grow quickly, but it did keep changing, day by day. It didn’t look like it had changed, until they looked back.

What does that mean?
This is about things moving slowly but relentlessly. A day doesn’t seem very long, but changes do happen. Each day, a little different. A little bit of drift this way or that.

Then, “suddenly” you notice everything is different. Well, it’s been changing the whole time, but you hadn’t noticed until just now. And that is how life tends to come at you.

Consider what has happened in the last year. What about the last decade? Somehow, the changes seem so much greater, don’t they? Especially in the active years, from the time you’re out of college until your kids are out of college.

Whether it is the small changes in a town, a tree, your partner, your kids, your business, or even in you, there is always a little bit of change.

Why is perspective important?  Continue reading →

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There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure.

Posted on 15 October 2013 by philosiblog

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure. – Colin Powell

Here is the early stages of a success. Preparations are being made and understood. Hard work is being done. And learning is ongoing. Success is just a matter of time.

Here is the early stages of a success. Preparations are being made and understood. Hard work is being done. And learning is ongoing. Success is just a matter of time.

What does that mean?
Well, this one pretty much says it on the level. People are always looking for the magic bullet, the easy way, or the short cut. And for some reason, they think you cheated to get to success.

Isn’t that what they are asking if they ask you what’s your secret? They’re asking you how you cheated the system and became successful the ‘easy way.’

But there is no easy way. Even the people who got a ‘lucky break’ were simply prepared when the opportunity came by. Nothing less. And the more prepared you are, and the harder you work, the luckier you’ll be.

The last part, in my opinion, is paramount. You can work hard, build up your strength, prepare every morning for the attempt, but if you’re pushing a door that says ‘pull’ and never learn, your chance of success is pretty much zero.

Why is learning important?  Continue reading →

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Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.

Posted on 14 October 2013 by philosiblog

Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. – attributed to J. Isham (no known bio)

Is she listening to him? How does he feel? Is there attraction and healing here, or the opposite?

Is she listening to him? How does he feel? Is there attraction & healing here, or the opposite?

What does that mean?
We all listen to others, in some form or another. The only question is why do we listen?

Sometimes it is the story being told which captures us. Other times, it is the person speaking who has captured us. And there are the times when we are the ones captured, like at a meeting or at work.

Think about the difference between, and how different you feel, when you are listening to a story which you enjoy, someone talking whom you enjoy, and being stuck in a meeting, forced to listen to someone yammer on and on.

How well we listen depends on whether they have captured our heart. The story, the person, the place, these all have a meaning and an attraction for us. And with that attraction, old wounds can be healed, because beneath it all is love.

Why is listening important?  Continue reading →

Posted in attitude, friendship, help, listening, love, value | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Compassion is what makes our lives meaningful.

Posted on 13 October 2013 by philosiblog

Compassion is what makes our lives meaningful. – Dalai Lama

Even if all you are doing is documenting the event, you are helping. Your compassion is noted.

Even if all you can do is documenting the event, you are helping. Your compassion is noted.

What does that mean?
All life has meaning. All life has purpose. But what gives our lives meaning? This quote says compassion is one of the ways our lives are infused with meaning.

Yes, you could spend your life pursuing material pleasures, at the expense of others. That would lack compassion, and I imagine that life would be fairly meaningless.

There are plenty of TV shows and movies about people who follow that path. Personally, I pity them. They are missing what I consider to be the meaning of our lives, to help others.

But how does helping others, or showing compassion, make life meaningful? I don’t have words for it, but if you search within yourself, I believe you will find times when it has been true even for yourself.

Why is helping others important?  Continue reading →

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We are more often frightened than hurt: and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.

Posted on 12 October 2013 by philosiblog

We are more often frightened than hurt: and we suffer more from imagination than from reality. – Seneca

When I was little, this guy lived in every shadow, and under every couch or bed.

When I was little, this guy lived in every shadow, and under every bed.

What does that mean?
Given that this is October, and the scariest night of the year is just a few weeks away, this is a very appropriate quote. This is what being frightened is all about, for those who like it.

We usually imagine the worst, and are relieved when it turns out to not be all that bad. However, that rush is part of why some people like thrill rides or thrill based events or movies.

The monster jumps out, and you’re sure you will be eaten. The roller coaster drops suddenly and you’re sure you’re going to be dashed to the ground below. That is good fun, but it isn’t any way to live the rest of our lives.

We often find ways to scare ourselves into inaction or inappropriate action based on what we think might be happening. That is our imagination fearing the worst. But how often is it really that bad? In my experience, almost never.

Why is anticipation important?  Continue reading →

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There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.

Posted on 11 October 2013 by philosiblog

There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind. – Fred Rogers

Yes, he had an attitude. But he always had heart. Here he is with the Special Olympics champ.

Yes, he had attitude, but he always had heart. Here he is in 2010 with the Special Olympics Athlete of the Year. Kindness knows no bounds, if you are willing to follow your heart..

What does that mean?
There is a triple scoop of kindness in this quote. There are many ways in which one can be successful, but few of them travel paths where kindness is absent.

If you wish to get to the ultimate success, however you might define it, it will be hard to achieve without at least a little kindness. At the very least, kindness is a social lubricant, helping things move smoothly.

At the other end of the spectrum, kindness is a crucial part of happiness, love, forgiveness, peacefulness, harmony, and so many other critical aspects of success. How can you get there without kindness?

At the very least, kindness is like a rising tide; it lifts all boats. There is no down side to kindness, unless you do so foolishly and without thought, and allow someone to take advantage of you. And even then, you still have the moral high ground.

Why is kindness important?  Continue reading →

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If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Posted on 10 October 2013 by philosiblog

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Wayne Dyer

"Quick, I need a blue piece." But does it need to be blue? Or will a gray piece do? There are lots of both, but what if you needed one which was red?

“Quick, I need a blue piece.” But does it need to be blue? Or will a gray piece do? There are lots of both, but what if you needed one which was red? What is the issue you are solving?

What does that mean?
This is another twisted quote chiastic. It says change the look, and how you look will change. We all see things through our own filters.

We often see what we expect to see. If you are looking for blue cars, you don’t really notice the other cars. You might even be surprised at how many the other cars are, and how few the blue ones are.

But if you look for cars in general, you suddenly notice how many non-blue cars there are, because now you notice them far more often. To me, that is what this quote is about.

Consider if you are looking for your flaws. How many will you find? How many more will you invent? If instead you look for your strengths, how many flaws will you find? And how would your life change in the process?

Why is focus important?  Continue reading →

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If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.

Posted on 9 October 2013 by philosiblog

If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid. – Epictetus

Do you remember the first time you tried to blow a bubble with bubble gum? How did that look?

Do you remember the first time you tried to blow a bubble with bubble gum? How did that look? Foolish? Stupid?

What does that mean?
I like this quote, because I have lived it so many times. While we can learn a lot from books, the internet, and friends, that kind of learning lacks one thing: action.

You can read a hundred books on chess, but you will still look foolish and stupid for your first couple of games. Same goes for any sort of sport or physical activity.

What about intellectual pursuits? Ever try to talk about something about which you only have book knowledge? Especially if someone there knows about the subject, you can look pretty foolish and stupid.

The first steps in any new endeavor tend to be a little awkward. You will look a little foolish and even somewhat stupid. But the alternative is to never learn. I know which path I will choose, what about you?

Why is action important?  Continue reading →

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Rightly defined philosophy is simply the love of wisdom.

Posted on 8 October 2013 by philosiblog

Rightly defined philosophy is simply the love of wisdom. – Cicero

Yes, listening is a critical skill in communications. But you must be clear as well.

Yes, listening is a critical skill in communications. But your statements must be clear as well.

What does that mean?
This quote is about the motivation and underlying reason why people pursue philosophy. And, quite simply, it is, as the quote says, the simple love of wisdom.

Wisdom is defined at theFreeDictionary.com as “The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight.” and “Common sense; good judgment.”

Philosophy is defined as “Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.” and “The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.”

By working on philosophy, one cannot help but come in contact with bits of wisdom. To desire to continue such a pursuit, one pretty much has to love it. It’s like archaeology; you have to love doing it to continue long enough to be considered an archaeologist.

Why is wisdom important?  Continue reading →

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Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

Posted on 7 October 2013 by philosiblog

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness. – Oliver Wendel Holmes

The key has turned in the lock, the gates are open, and I am stepping into happiness.

The key has turned in the lock, the gates are open, and I am stepping into happiness. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

What does that mean?
This is another romantic quote which I believe can also be applied to other situations in our lives. As we have discussed before, the word “love” has a very wide range of meanings.

Yes, I believe that the love of a person qualifies for this quote, but not just romantic love. Those of you who are parents can probably remember a time, however brief, when your love of your children brought you to the gates of happiness.

Love of an ideal or a concept also qualifies, at least in my opinion. Love of freedom or justice can also bring you to the gates of happiness. And I believe that love of your fellow man can do so as well.

But, as always, you have to do a little work as well. Love gets you to the gates of happiness, but you must choose to go in, and then take action.

Why is stepping forward important?  Continue reading →

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