Use your human intelligence in the best way you can; transform your emotions in a positive way.

Use your human intelligence in the best way you can; transform your emotions in a positive way. – Dalai Lama

No story, just the title ‘gone.’ Grief is natural, but why do you believe they left?

What does that mean?
We all have a level of intelligence which we can use to change our nature and our attitudes. The question is how often do we think or attempt to do so?

We can also use our intelligence to change how we react to events, which is often an emotional reaction. That is what the quote is urging us to consider doing.

To transform our emotions, or emotional responses, in a positive way, we need to think about our beliefs. When something happens, was it by chance, design, or a deliberate act?

How differently would you react to something done by accident compared to something done with deliberation and malice? If you can change what you believe about the event, you can change your emotion.

Why is having positive emotions important?  
Imagine living your life with nothing but negative emotions. Everyone hates you, and you hate them back. Everything that happens to you is part of a plan by someone else, designed to hold you back or keep you down. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to live that life?

Sadly, there are some people who live with that attitude. The good news is that there are very few who live this way. Most of us have at least an occasional positive emotion, however rarely that might actually be. Actually, I imagine most of us are largely positive and upbeat, at least I am, are you?

By having positive emotions, we tend to react to events in a more forgiving and generous manner. With a positive attitude or outlook, you might let it slide if someone cuts you off in traffic. With a negative outlook, I would imagine you’d be a whole lot less inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt.

And to me, that’s what this quote is about. Finding within ourselves a way to focus our minds, and to interpret the events around us in a manner which leaves us with a positive outlook on life. To do otherwise not only hurts us, but all those around us, and everyone with whom we come in contact.

Where can I apply this in my life?
Personally, I try to use this in every aspect of my life, and all of the time. Any time I feel a negative emotion coming on, I try to remember to ask myself if I am interpreting the actions and events properly. I also try to challenge any belief which leads me to a negative emotion.

The examples I used before were from my life. I believed my parents existed solely to make me miserable, and to prevent me from doing anything fun or exciting. Yes, I was once that young and that dumb. Fortunately, I’ve grown out of it, mostly.

Since then, I have figured out what they were doing. It wasn’t very elegant and not very skilled, but once I understood what they were trying to accomplish, it made more sense. But until I changed my belief about their motives, I still resented (a negative emotion) their methods.

By using my intelligence, I was able to figure out how they were raised, and the methods considered ‘normal’ in the era in which they were formed. Eventually I realized that they were doing the best they could within the framework of their lives and experiences.

With that realization, my emotions were far more positive. Unfortunately, I didn’t figure this out until long after I moved out, but I have since had discussions with both parents about methods and reasons. This was both to close the loop with them, and to prepare myself for my own children.

Take a moment and think of the times in your life when you have responded to a situation with a negative emotion. Grab some paper and write them down. Now consider what about each situation caused you to react in that manner. Jot down a quick note or two next to each event.

Is there a pattern? Is there something common to a few of them? Some negative emotions are so common that they have specific names. Anger. Hatred. Jealousy. Rage. Each has a common set of triggers or situations which tend to trigger them. What seems to be the most common thing which sets you off?

Select one thing which tends to bring out a negative emotion. Try to see what other ways you might be able to understand what is happening. Are your parents trying to suck the fun out of your life, or are they trying to keep you alive for another birthday? Even if you can’t understand their motives, can you forgive them for their poor technique?

Understanding and forgiving are part of using our human intelligence, and part of how we can transform our emotions from negative to positive. Or we can sit in the corner and pout, or worse. One will help move you forward, the other is a downward spiral. Choose your path carefully.

From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s his own feed…
Photo by Petras Gagilas

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• Forgiveness is how we put a stop to anger, ill-will and a desire for revenge. (philosiblog.com)