Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – Robert Heinlein
Do you feel jealous? Are you not in the picture with the cool kids? Do you want that for them, or for yourself? Have the self-respect to allow them to do that, but still care for them.
What does that mean?
This is a great quote from one of the great Giants in the Science Fiction Genre. The interesting thing to me is that the best authors (of any genre) seem to be the best at seeing the human condition, then use a fictional work to point out what should be, but often is not, very obvious.
The quote is from the book “Stranger in a Strange Land” and includes an additional bit which makes it far too long for twitter:
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own… Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.”
The short version of the quote emphasizes that you have some flavor of love in you when you cannot be happy when someone else is not. For most people, there are a handful of people to whom this applies. Some apply this to larger groups of people, or even to all of humanity.
The longer version of the quote discusses the dichotomy of love and jealousy. Just remember that the last five letters of jealousy are “lousy” and that’s all the more you need to know, right? I consider jealousy a form of cancer, which twists love to it’s own unhealthy end.
Why is proper love important?
Everyone seems to have a slightly different view of what love means to them. Some of that is cultural. Some of that is based on experience. And a lot is based on the different definitions or flavors of love. That said, there are some things which we can agree on as proper.
There are also some fairly straight-forward things which are easily defined as not being proper. Jealousy is called out by the longer version of this quote, and is fairly universally recognized as something other than proper love. I agree, do you?
We have seen countless movies where someone with a warped definition of the word love has played a role. The less fortunate among us may even have lived with such a person in their lives. How much nicer is it to live our lives in a world without such twisted definitions and twisted people?
Where can I apply this in my life?
Let’s start with jealousy, as it is called out by the longer version of the quote. Think about the last time you were jealous. Let’s start with a situation where love should have been, but instead, jealousy was found. Think back to school, if you have to. Most of us have something in our past.
Why did you feel jealous? Was someone else having fun, but you weren’t? The simple answer is that they obviously didn’t love you (based on the short version of the quote, your happiness being important to them), and that you would have been better off finding someone else who does. Being mad at them and sticking around for more abuse doesn’t make much sense, does it?
What about a birthday party or some other gathering where others got an award or some attention and you did not? Were you jealous of them? Even of people you generally didn’t like? What does that say about how you defined love at the time, and how you valued them, their happiness and yourself?
What other forms of twisted or damaged love exist? Stalking would be one form. What others can you think of, or have you experienced? Harassment or aggressive behavior would also qualify, right? How many of these experiences have you experienced, or participated in?
How do you deal with feelings which run counter to a proper definition of love (according to you)? Let’s start with thinking for a moment about how you define love, and what you believe is contrary to that definition. Grab some paper and write down what your ideas on the subject are. Take a moment and add a few examples of both proper and improper love from your life
Note that while this is a quote which is focused primarily on romantic love, it applies perfectly well to every other kind of love of which I can think. If you believe you have a counter-example, please leave it in the comments section, that I may give it consideration.
Do you love your fellow human beings? What about your neighbors? Your friends and co-workers? Can you feel happy for them when they are happy? Can you take yourself out of the equation? Or do you have to be happy as well? I believe this is the opening that jealousy uses to invade our happiness.
We all have wants and needs. We all desire happiness for ourselves, and for others. When the happiness of another is necessary for your happiness, you have love. When your happiness must come first, love becomes twisted and sick.
It is my firm belief that proper love is a selfless act, and a selfless feeling. Anything less than that is not really love.
From: Twitter, @Quotes_on_Love
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/robertahe137024.html
Photo by Ktoine
Related articles
- Jealousy (banomcleod.wordpress.com)
- Overcoming Jealousy (everydayhealth.com)
- Jealousy: the ‘Virtue-eater’ (thedeixis.wordpress.com)
- What is Jealousy? (trudger2009.wordpress.com)
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