Don’t blame others for your uneasy feelings; blame your own state of mind. This is why altruism brings you greater peace of mind.

Don’t blame others for your uneasy feelings; blame your own state of mind. This is why altruism  brings you greater peace of mind. – Dalai Lama

A helping hand. An action of an altruistic state of mind.

What does that mean?
This is an interesting quote, as it hearkens back to the concept that unease, like happiness, comes from within. That’s not saying there are not things outside of you that can cause pain, discomfort or uneasy sensations to your physical body, we all know that there are. But uneasy feelings have only one source, within ourselves, within our minds.

Our state of mind is the primary reference point for our emotional state. When we are in an unpleasant state of mind, it is hard for pleasant feelings to exist for any length of time. On the other hand, the uneasy feelings, the unpleasant feelings, will find it easy to linger for quite some time.

If we can better manage our state of mind, we can more easily change our feelings. In a situation, a bitter state of mind might lead to feeling cheated, where a compassionate state of mind might lead to feelings of sympathy and a desire to help the other individual.

Why is an altruistic state of mind important?  
Our state of mind is the soil in which our feelings grow. If that state is positive or altruistic, the crop will largely be pleasant feelings. If that state is negative or uneasy, the crop will be little but weeds, uneasy and unpleasant feelings will be all that can grow in such soil.

When our state of mind is based on altruism (which is defined at thefreedictionary.com as “Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness”), we look to the welfare and well being of others. We look to see what we can do to help and be helpful.

When our focus is helping others, there is little room for uneasy feelings. That said, there are people who give us creepy feelings, and I would distinguish that from general unease, as the creepy feeling is usually a defensive feeling or a warning of sorts.

Where can I apply this in my life?
The altruistic state of mind, in my opinion, is one of the better places for your mind to spend its time. Can you think of any other state of mind that brings more peace or generates more warm feelings than altruism? All the others which I can name are so closely related that they are practically synonyms.

Take a moment and think through your past week. How often was your mind in an altruistic state, and how often was it in a less fertile state? What was the crop your feelings harvested? How much did your feelings change based on the state of your mind?

While you might not have previously thought of your mind in this way, and might not be able to categorize your feelings and your state of mind, you might want to consider paying closer attention in the following weeks. I know, it sounds so exciting, doesn’t it?

Examining how you work might not always be pleasant, but it’s hard to change things you don’t know much about. You wouldn’t take a broken car to a hairdresser any more than you’d trust your favorite car mechanic to do your hair. unless you just grease it, 50’s style.

As always, the more you know about yourself, the better your life can become. In this case, we’re looking at the garden of your mind, and the rich and fertile soil which I hope your state of mind either is, or will soon become. But only with a little observation, and some effort, right?

With me, the state of my mind is based largely on my beliefs. When my feelings are pleasant, I usually find that my state of mind is based primarily on altruism. In turn, that altruism is based on my beliefs about life in general, and my fellow humans in specific. When I truly believe that people are good, and trying their best to be helpful, it is easy to be in an altruistic state of mind.

However, there are times when my beliefs are challenged and my faith in my fellow humans falls. When that happens, the foundation for an altruistic state of mind is damaged, and often I find my state of mind somewhat altered. As I am aware of this, I do what I can to repair my foundation and then return my mind to an altruistic state.

What are some of your beliefs about your fellow humans? Do you believe most of them to be good, honest people, in need of your humble assistance, or are they a pack of animals? One set of beliefs makes it easy to have an altruistic state of mind, the other, not so much, right?

The next time you find yourself with an uneasy feeling (remember, that is different from a creepy feeling), take a moment and note what your state of mind is at that time. Is it frazzled, angry, unhappy, or frightened? How might your feelings change if your state of mind was altruistic?

When you get a chance, consider what you believed at the time of the uneasy feelings, and which of them you would have had to change to change to an altruistic state of mind. The trick is to recognise when uneasy feelings start, and to quickly change your beliefs to better support an altruistic state of mind.

Change your beliefs? On a dime? We may have slightly different definitions of the word. What I mean is it’s hard to be altruistic if you believe that everyone is out to get you. If you can change that belief to only some are out to get me, and this one isn’t one of them, it becomes easy to be altruistic again.

It’s literally that simple, quick, and easy. Or at least it is once you have practiced it a few times. And practice is the precursor of skill.

From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s his own feed…
Photo by rob.wall