Who is there among us who does not prefer tolerance, respect and forgiveness of our failings to bigotry, disrespect, and resentment? – Dalai Lama
Hiroshima Peace Memorial – the building that was at ground zero for the world’s first atom bomb used in anger. Perhaps we can learn to forgive each other.
What does that mean?
This quote talks about opposites. Tolerance vs bigotry. Respect vs disrespect. Forgiveness vs resentment. In any situation, when you are on the receiving end, which do you prefer?
Most of us prefer to be tolerated, to be shown respect, and to be forgiven. Few of us prefer to be on the receiving end of bigotry, disrespect or resentment. At least I’ve never known anyone with such low self-esteem as to prefer the negative to the positive.
That is what this quote is about, in my opinion. It is reminding us to treat others as we would wish to be treated. Yes, we often do it, but how few of us do this all of the time? Without hesitation? Without reservation? As our very first impulse? I know I fall well short of that standard.
Why is treating others well important?
The question, then, is turned on ourselves. If we prefer to be tolerated, respected, and forgiven, why do we ever do anything less for others? Yes, there are always plenty of excuses. “They did it to me first!” “But they are a [insert disliked group here]” “I can’t possibly forgive such an affront!”
Sounds kind of like the playground in grade school when it’s reduced to the core excuses, doesn’t it? Do you have an excuse that doesn’t sound quite as foolish? I know I couldn’t find one when I checked mine (and that was really sad).
What about reasons. Do you have a reason for bigotry, disrespect, or resentment? When I examined mine, I found that none of them were valid, just variations on excuses or complete fallacies. How about you, what are you using as reasons? Do any of them stand up to close scrutiny?
Where can I apply this in my life?
For the longest time, I resented Japan and the Japanese people. My uncle died a horrible death in a prison camp in the Philippines. I projected my resentment of the Empire of Japan and the Imperial Japanese Army on to the modern government and the grandchildren of the people who may have been part of the prison camp system.
Think about that for a moment. How juvenile of me was that? Blaming an entire country and all their people for the actions taken by a handful of criminals in a war waged by a deposed government, all of which happened over 40 years ago (now 70 years ago, as I held this belief mostly in my youth).
As I examined my feelings and my reasons, they quickly fell apart. And boy did I feel foolish. While I might not feel so charitable if I ever met one of the people actually responsible for the actions, I no longer have any such feelings towards the people of Japan, nor towards the country itself.
Do you have any broad resentments in your life? Is there a whole class of people with which you have an issue? Have you ever examined, carefully and deliberately, what the reasons for it are? How deep did you dig, and how carefully did you apply logic, rather than emotion, to validate your position? I imagine that if you did, you might find your reasons become excuses, and your ill feelings disappear in a puff of logic.
Are there any people you disrespect or have bigoted feelings towards? Again, can you come up with a reason for behaving that way? Yes, you may have been slighted or disrespected by that individual. But in the big picture, are you gaining anything by being disrespectful in return, or are you sinking to their level? Can you logically, not emotionally, support your behavior? If not, perhaps you should consider changing your behavior.
Take some time and try to come up with at least two cases of each of the less than noble behaviors listed in the quote. Now select two of them and start working on them. Write down every reason and excuse you can think of for each of them. Are you laughing yet? When you write them down, do some of them seem pretty silly? I know I laughed when I saw how stupid my “reasons” and excuses actually were.
Now that your reasons have been shattered and your excuses banished, what do you have left? How do you want to proceed from here? You already have a person or a group of people gathered together, and you have banished a feeling or belief about them. Nature will fill this void if you don’t.
Make a choice and decide how you wish to treat that person or group. Design your life, not live it by accident. You have examined it, you now have the power to change it. What do you want to do instead? The quote has some ideas, if I might be so bold as to point you back to the beginning.
Treating others as we would wish to be treated is a noble thing to do. However there is guarantee that they will notice e your gesture or that they will appreciate it if they do. But you will have taken the high road. Just keep an eye on those taking the low road, there is no telling what they might do.
From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s from his own feed…
Photo by miss vichan
