Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand. – Niccolò Machiavelli
Is he really a suit kind of guy, or is he a jeans-and-t-shirt kind of guy? If you judge by the eye, the answer is suit.
What does that mean?
This is another Twitter-shortened quote. The longer version is: “There is nothing more necessary to appear to have than this last quality (appearing to be religious), inasmuch as men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, because it belongs to everybody to see you, to few to come in touch with you.”
In this quote (from Chapter 18, about keeping faith, or being true to your word), Machiavelli is instructing a Prince on how to behave and how to keep up appearances. He says it’s very important to appear merciful, faithful, humane, upright, and religious.
He also says that one must be prepared to act in a manner contrary to the appearance, yet keep up the appearance. This is because everyone can see what you appear to be, and only a very few will get close enough to touch you and actually find out what happened.
Why are appearances important?
To a politician, an illusionist, or a con-man (or do I repeat myself?), nothing is more important than appearances. What are the optics of a situation? What does it look like to those who are observing? This is the part of the quote where it talks about everyone being able to see you, and what you do.
These people (each with slightly different reasons and motivations) are all about appearing as they wish people to see them. Even if it is nothing like what they really are, even if they are saying the exact opposite of what they will eventually do, they know that few will see through their appearances.
For the rest of us, appearances matter. You prepare yourself carefully for a first date. You prepare yourself carefully for a job interview. You try to present yourself as what you think the others are looking for, even if you’re not sure if that’s really you. You know that if you can get the chance, you can try to get them to appreciate the real you.
Where can I apply this in my life?
The way it was worded in the prior section, it sounds like deception, doesn’t it? However, I don’t believe deception is required to manage your appearance. As an example, I really dislike wearing neckties. However, I wear them to job interviews. Am I being deceitful, or am I being careful about my appearance?
I realize that there is a very fine line between truth and fiction, between honesty and lies. Continuing my example, my prefered dress code is jeans and a t-shirt. However, I’m not likely to get past the reception desk for my interview without at least a necktie. That’s just my industry.
I imagine there are a lot of others in my industry who dislike the neck-noose. However, they wear one for the sake of how they appear. It is more for the sake of the customers who visit from time to time than much of anything else. The customers have certain expectations.
Now think about your life. Where do you use the underlying fact of this quote to your advantage? Where do you use the idea that appearances are often more important than substance, because few get to see the substance, but all see your appearance?
Note that I am not implying that anyone is being deceitful, or deliberately trying to mislead others (although some, unfortunately, are). But it is a fact of life in human relations. People will often do what they think is appropriate, to have the appearance of belonging, or blending in.
How different would your life be if you lived it straight up, without worrying about appearances? For me, I’d be in another line of work, if I considered my appearance to be more important than my employment (which, by the way, I don’t).
What aspects of your life would you consider changing your appearance (and not just your visual appearance, but all the other things people say you ‘appear to be’)? Do you wear glasses to appear smarter? Do you wear a beard to appear older?
What do you do to appear to be the right kind of person to be part of your social groups? Again, I’m not judging, but instead, I’m asking you to think about your life, and how you live it. Live the life you want to live, not the one you stumbled into, right?
And just briefly, consider the flip side of the equation. How good are you at detecting others and how they have altered their true selves to appear to be what they think you want to see?
Can you see through the appearance? Can you determine what is underneath? Can you ‘touch’ the real person? You might want to let them know, so they can relax and be themselves.
From: Twitter, @siya_siyengo
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oliverwend104426.html
Photo by skyfaller
