Civilization is a method of living, an attitude of equal respect for all men. – Jane Addams
The cashier looks a little stressed. How will you treat her? What will make her life better, berating her and treating her like she was worthless (or worth less), or being kind and treating her as an equal? Which takes more effort on your part? Just some things to think about next time you’re in line.
What does that mean?
This is a neat quote. It talks about the definition of civilization being tied to how we live. It says that if we live with an attitude of respect for all others, we are behaving (and living) in what the author considers a civilized manner. It’s kind of hard to disagree.
How civil would society be (and therefore how civilized would a society be) which treats different people (or groups of people) in different manners? Yes there may be order, and they may qualify as a civilization, but would we call them civilized?
Consider India under the caste system or America in the slave era. Yes, both were powerful and influential civilizations in their time, but were they civil towards even their own? Yes, the definition has changed over the years, but now we know better, right?
Why is treating others with equal respect important?
To me, it is important to point out that equal respect doesn’t guarantee equal results. One could treat a worthy sailor and a pirate with equal respect, but get different results, right? And just because you respect someone else, doesn’t mean they will respect you.
But, in my opinion, it is important to at least offer respect to all, even though they may not exactly deserve it, and most especially if they don’t return it. Why would anyone want to do that for someone else, especially if they’re not worthy or desirous of the respect?
Giving respect, at least to me, is about who I am, not about who the other person is. It tells others who I am, and what I believe. If they chose not to live up to that level of respect, or don’t respect me, that is them showing the world who they are. I hope that made sense.
By showing the same respect for all, I try to show that I hold no one above me, and no one below me. To me, they are all equals. It is up to them to prove themselves otherwise. And trust me, some try. Most are successful, but few in the direction they though they were trying to prove.
Where can I apply this in my life?
The question would probably be easier to answer when it doesn’t apply. Think about that for a moment. How do you treat others? Are you bossy to some and subservient to others? Or do you treat all of them as equals? Yes, the boss gets a little more deference, but what do you expect from those who work under you? Is it equitable, or is it something else?
Beyond work, how do you treat a waiter or waitress at a restaurant? Are you mean, demanding, or gruff? Do you treat them as equals, or do you treat them as if they were beneath you, as if they were a servant or a lackey?
What about in the grocery store? How do you treat a cashier when you’re in a hurry, and they’re moving a little slow (or having to get a manager to help, or change the paper in the printer)? Are your actions those of an equal or a master who is displeased with a servant?
The most interesting question: How differently do you treat a bank teller or a bank’s loan officer? Do you treat them the same way? If not, why not? Isn’t that something interesting to consider?
How would your life, and the lives of those you interact with change if you were to treat everyone equally, and kindly at that? How much extra effort does it really take to be kind to everyone? Is it any harder to be kind than it is to be mean to them?
What would happen in the lives of the other people with whom you interact, even if nothing better happened to you? I imagine their lives would be at least a tiny little bit better. And if it takes no great effort on your part, how hard is it to make the decision to be kind, and treat everyone equally? I know the answer that is in my heart. What’s your answer?
In closing, it might be worth checking yourself every once in a while and asking the following questions:
- What does your treatment of your fellow people say about you?
- What does it say about your view of your place in the world?
- What does it say about your view of the place of others in the world?
- Is that the way you want to be known?
- Is that how you want others to remember you for the rest of their lives?
Only you can decide what you’re going to do. And even then, you’ll have bad days. We’re only human. Learn from what went wrong, and try again, with some lessons learned from your last attempt. That’s what I’m doing.
From: Twitter, undocumented feed (my bad)
confirmed at : @TheToddReport
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/janeaddams389157.html
Photo by -Tripp-
Happy Birthday to Jane Addams, born 6 September, 1860.
