If you focus only on yourself and neglect others, you will lose; but you will gain if you value others as much as you cherish yourself. – Dalai Lama
Feeling unfulfilled? Perhaps if you made a list of all the ways you help others, you’ll feel better. Or you could find more ways to help others, and get busy helping others. At least it works for me.
What does that mean?
This quote reminds me of the basic plot of the book ‘A Christmas Carol’ by English author Charles Dickens. At the beginning of that story, Ebenezer Scrooge is focused solely on himself, usually to the detriment of all the other people around him.
By the end of the story, he cares about others every bit as much as he cares about himself. He sends a great feast to his most loyal employee, and spends the rest of the day with his family, with which he was previously estranged.
In the story Scrooge had lost everything truly important because of his focus on himself and that which he believes is important (money, in his case). At the end, he has regained everything that is truly important to him by focusing on the needs and wants of others as much as his own.
To me, that is what this quote says. If you ignore the needs of others, you’re not going to have much of a life, and you will never find true happiness. However, if you can first notice and then help others, you will be able to get what is truly important, and happiness will be there for you.
Why are others important?
Can you imagine how your life would be without anyone else in it? No friends, no family, no one you would bother to talk to, or help? Sounds like the start of a very sad movie, one where you are hoping for the protagonist to change and find happiness.
While I am truly an introvert, I have never done completely without friends or family. I have always needed at least a little companionship. And I do actually find happiness in helping others. It may sound silly, sappy even, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Whether it was delivering food to people who were in need, or working on houses for those who were without, I am always at my best and happiest when I am helping others. How about you, have you ever felt good when helping someone else? I hope you can think of a time like that, because in my mind, that is what this quote is about.
Where can I apply this in my life?
First, I would consider how much time you already spend helping others. For some, it’s their day job. From hospital workers to parents, some already spend hours and hours helping others. Consider how much more of your time you want to take from your other pursuits in order to focus on others.
This is a very personal decision, and I don’t want to think that I am pushing you to do more, or to do it differently. We all have different needs and have different duties already in our lives. As always, my primary intent is to get people to examine their life and live it by design, not by accident.
Now take a moment and consider how much time you spend devoted to only yourself, to the neglect of others? I’m not talking about a quiet evening with a book every now and then, or taking time to decompress after a long day.
What I am more concerned are the times when people put themselves and their desires ahead of the needs of others. Like Scrooge in the book ‘A Christmas Carol’, these people pursue money, pleasure, or objects, ignoring the needs of others.
That isn’t to say that money, pleasure, or objects are the root of evil, but I believe that they can become a contributing factor, if one focuses solely on these internal needs and ignores the needs of others.
On the other hand, I don’t believe that giving everything away and begging for our meals is necessarily a better path. If you have nothing, it’s hard to give something to someone in need besides an encouraging word, right?
So, the question comes back to what are you presently doing for others, and what do you want to be doing for others? Some of you may be happy with where you are at the moment. Great, I’m fine with that. You examined you life, and reached a conclusion.
However, if the conclusion you reached was that you need to make a little more time available for you to help others, it’s time to get busy. What sounds like a great way to help others? Direct donation is always a quick way to help others, for those with very busy schedules.
Amazingly, sometimes, cash is actually the better way to help, as I found out at my local food bank. They can buy food in bulk, so they asked us to give them the money that we would spend buying things to donate, as they could get more food for that money than we ever could.
While I’m sure it’s true, it went against everything I had ever thought or expected from a charity. Although it does prove that you can always learn something, and there are exceptions lurking in many unexpected places.
For those with more time than money, I would look at what you like to do, what your skills are, and how they can be combined to help others. I like working with my hands and have some basic construction skills, so I have worked with Habitat for Humanity.
Whatever your skills and preferences are, there are plenty of organizations out there in desperate need of volunteers. All you have to do is search for them. If you are still at a loss, check with your local governments or religious groups, as they will likely be able to point you to organizations where you can be of some use.
You may not get rich in terms of money by helping others, there are other forms of riches in which you may find yourself rewarded. And sometimes, these other rewards are far more valuable and lasting than mere cash.
From: Twitter, From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s from his own feed…
Photo by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³
