Meet hostility and suspicion with kindness. Helping others out of love is always the best option. – Dalai Lama
What if Kindness was a sport? Would you be for Team Kindness?
What does that mean?
The world is full of all kinds of people. Not all are as kind as you are. You are kind, at least some of the time, right? Many of the people you will encounter on any day will be in the middle of a less than stellar day. This might lead an otherwise kind person to act in a slightly hostile manner, or so I am told.
Similarly, there will be people who are having days full of disappointment, betrayal, and an endless stream of solicitors. This might lead an otherwise kind person be slightly suspicious of you and your motives, or so I am told.
The quote suggests to treat these people with kindness, and I agree. It has been my experience that being kind to others is no more difficult than being hostile to them or suspicious of them. I have also noticed that the results are often dramatically different.
Why is kindness important?
Kindness is a form of salve for the wounds of others. We all have had tough days, we have all had our share of bumps and scrapes. We’ve all been in bad or at least unkind moods. The kindness of others is what helps us feel better when we’ve had a rough day.
It’s no different for them, when they have had a rough day, your kindness could mean more to them than you might be able to understand. To me, that is what this is what the quote is all about. Being kind to others, not so much for our sake, but for theirs.
For me, I find that kindness is rooted in love. Love of yourself, and the love for all humanity, and even all living things (although I find mosquitoes and fire ants a bit hard to love). With love in your heart, it’s hard to be unkind. Conversely, if love is absent from your heart, it will be very difficult to even conceive of being kind, right?
Where can I apply this in my life?
Think through your life, and consider how much kinder you tend to be to those you love than you are to strangers, and how much kinder you are to strangers than to those you actively dislike. This is, in effect, a scale of love from lots, through neutral, to un-love.
If you are like me, you saw your ability (or even your desire) to be kind drop in roughly the same proportion as your love for the other person. To me, that is the challenge. To be able to be truly kind, I need to truly love others. Failing that, we need a PlanB for when we are weak.
I will often give in to the thought of the mean comment, the hostile impulse, or the suspicious thought. The trick I have been using, as I work to reduce the frequency and intensity of these undesired behaviors, is to catch them while they are still just thoughts.
If I can stop them before they manifest themselves physically, I’m a step closer to doing it skillfully. By stopping them while they are still in my mind, I give myself the chance to dismiss the less desirable responses, and find a better response, such as kindness.
Even if you have to fake it, act kindly towards others. Like many other emotions, I have found that if you can act kind, repeatedly, you will eventually feel kindness sneak up on you. A quick test might be to smile for the next hour and see if you don’t feel at least a little happier.
Love, the quote says, is the key, and the best option. As I mentioned before, I find my kindness flows from my ability to open my heart. For me, this is based largely on my ability to see them as fellow travelers, weak, tired, bruised, and battered by life. At least it helps me, how about you?
That’s not always easy, and when dealing with some particularly vicious people, not a safe option. In these cases, I would still try my best to act kindly, even if it’s not an action inspired by love of them. Instead, be motivated by your love of yourself, and for doing the right thing, because of who you are, instead doing of the wrong thing because of who they are.
We are all human. We will all have days that are better, and days that are worse. But if we put forth a consistent effort to show kindness, we can help ourselves, and help others. One drop of water in a lake may not be much, but if we all add several drops a day, we can make a difference. Or am I all wet? 8)
From: Twitter, From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s from his own feed…
Photo by Beth G
