Warm-heartedness reinforces our self-confidence – giving us not a blind confidence, but a sense of confidence based on reason.– Dalai Lama
Does a hug make you feel a little more warm-hearted and confident? If not, you might want to ask yourself why.
What does that mean?
Warm-heartedness, to me, is a form of self-confidence. It is a statement of having a trust in ourselves that is so great that we are willing and able to go beyond what others might think of as reasonable and prudent (or at least so far outside their comfort zone that they wouldn’t go there).
By being warm-hearted, we have actual, measurable confidence in ourselves. We have a belief in our ability to help others and to be useful. These are skills that don’t rely on any specific ability, but on our willingness to give of ourselves and our willingness to help others. In this manner, our self-confidence is well founded, and not a blind confidence.
Why is being warm-hearted important?
The easiest answer to this question is to answer the opposite question. Stated: “What are the implications of being cold-hearted?” That’s a much easier question to answer, isn’t it? So the answer to today’s question is the opposite.
If you need an example, who would you rather use as your behavior role-model, Ebenezer Scrooge or Bob Cratchit? One was warm-hearted, and the other was decidedly not warm-hearted (at least not until the very end). For me, warm-hearted wins every time. What about you?
Another way to answer the question is to think of all the people in your life who have been warm-hearted, and how much more certain they are in their life than those who are not (excepting those cold-hearted soul crushers, who make great movie villans, but lousy friends).
Where can I apply this in my life?
Once again, I will answer a question with another question. Where can you not use this? Perhaps at a technical symposium, but how much of your life is like that? Even a die-hard nerd like myself spends most of his time in the ‘real world,’ dealing with people. If that’s not a time to be warm-hearted, I don’t know what is.
When I behave in a warm-hearted manner, I find that it is much easier to deal with people. I tend to like other people a little more, and they seem to like me a little more. Have you ever had to deal with a person who was so cold-hearted that you’d rather have hugged a cactus? My recommendation is to not be that person, if at all possible.
Where do you feel less than confident? If it is in any situation that involves people, that would be an excellent time to practice being warm-hearted. Being warm-hearted helps you feel better about yourself, and that helps with your self-confidence, right?
So how does one begin to work on being warm-hearted, or being more so than they presently are? That can be a very personal answer, as we are all a little different. However, there are feelings and beliefs that tend to block the ability to feel warm-hearted, so let’s start by searching for any sign of those, shall we?
Can you be warm-hearted towards a group of people (or a person) whom you dislike, or even hate? Think through your life and try to find instances of groups of people you dislike or hate. Do you have a specific reason why, or is it just the way you were raised?
Is this something you could examine and try to remove from your attitudes? I would hope so. Keep asking yourself questions (try answering: who, how, what, why, when, and where for a start). Ask until you have either proven that every single person in that group should be hated for what happened, or that you realize that it’s silly, and give it up.
What other things make it difficult for you to be warm-hearted? Are there places that bring back bad memories? Is there some other trigger, like songs, smells, or other sounds? Again ask why those things impact your ability to be warm-hearted.
At one point, your reaction may have made sense, but does your reaction still make sense now, or is it time to change your behavior, and become more warm-hearted? Again, only you can answer the question, but you can only answer that question after you have looked inside yourself. Ask questions, and find the answers which lurk within. Then decide what to do.
I believe warm-heartedness is a decision, one which is easier to make if you let go of that which drags your attitude down. Is it worth the effort? Only you can answer that question. For me, the answer is yes.
From: Twitter, From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s from his own feed…
Photo by Dyanna Hyde
