Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are. – Niccolò Machiavelli
What masks do you wear? Is there something wrong with the real you, that you would hide it from everyone?
What does that mean?
While the translation I used wasn’t exactly the same, it’s close enough for what we are doing. This quote was from The Prince, where the author is giving advice for how a Prince should craft his public image.
In that chapter, the Prince is given advice, and told to be consistent in public, as many will see them, and believe the carefully crafted image that the Prince has constructed.
Since very few of those people will ever meet the Prince, how the Prince behaves in private is of little consequence. If their private behavior is discovered, the chapter continues, few will believe it.
In short, Machiavelli is giving advice on how to lie and deceive, and how to get away with it.
Why is honesty important?
While the quote is all about how a person of great power can lie and deceive a population in a most deliberate and cynical manner, it also applies to the rest of us ‘normal’ people.
How many people have you known who changed how they look, what they did, their habits or patterns, just to get close to someone? Isn’t that kind of the same thing, to pretend to be someone you are not?
Most of the people I knew in my late teens and on into my twenties were busy trying to be the person that their latest love interest would find interesting.
For those of you who have been there, how well did that work out? Whether it’s done for a date, a job, or any other reason, lying about yourself in order to gain advantage rarely ends well.
Where can I apply this in my life?
The US news has been full of stories of people who lied on their resume, lied to get admission or scholarships to college, and many other deliberate falsifications for personal gain. For them, it really backfired. What gain they had has been wiped away, and now they have been branded as liars.
They are now known to many, and are known to be untrustworthy. How bad would the rest of your life be if you had that hung around your neck, or taped on your back, like the more traditional “kick me” sign?
The quote is stated as a warning to the Prince to carefully guard the carefully crafted deceits and lies. However, for the rest of us, it is an equally valid warning tonot do this, as it will backfire, trapping you in a lie for as long as you can keep up appearances.
Take a moment and consider if there are areas in your life where you pretend to be someone you are not? Perhaps it is my age, or my lack of social skills, but I never found such games to be of any interest or use. I am what I am, and people can like it or not. The choice is theirs.
For those of you who have one (or more), take a moment and think about the situation. How much satisfaction do you get from your charade? How much effort does it take to get into character and prepare yourself for changing into the ‘other’ you?
What do you get for all your effort? If it is being done to catch someone, how long do you think it will take them to see through your disguise? What then? Will they want to get to know you better when you have already proven to them that you are untrustworthy, and a known deceiver and liar? Do you feel foolish, and do they?
If it is being done to get a job, or a place in a social organization, what will happen when you are found out? What will happen to you and your reputation when everyone knows you cannot be trusted? What will you do for a job after that? What employer would hire you? What group would have you as a member?
While this quote is all about how to be a pretender, I would twist his words and use them to urge you to do the opposite. Be yourself. It’s easier to tell the truth than a lie, because you don’t have to remember what you told to whom, right?
If you have to trick people in order to get them to like you, what does that say about you, and what does that say about them? Perhaps you need better friends, true friends. People who like you because of who you really are, not people who like what you appear to be.
From: Twitter, @franzooooo
confirmed at : http://www.constitution.org/mac/prince18.htm 3rd paragraph from bottom, last sentence.
Photo by emma_brown
