I don’t need anyone to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves. – Shirley MacLaine
When you don't know everything there is to know about yourself, anything can happen. Self knowledge is the foundation for the rest of your life. This picture is the collapse of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, which shouldn't have failed, based on what they knew at the time.
What does that mean?
This was the original quote before it was ret-coned into a more politically correct form. It also makes more sense this way. The PC way has ‘anyone’ in place of ‘a man.’ I won’t take a stand on the initial intent, as I wasn’t there, and don’t know her. I leave that to those who were, or who do, respectively.
To me, what the quote says is that no one needs another to make their life right (that’s what the ‘rectify’ in the quote means). We all can, and I believe we all should, make our lives right within ourselves. In my mind, as long as we are looking for someone else to be the fix or to correct for our shortcomings, we are not yet a whole and complete person.
The quote says, and I agree, that our most profound relationship is within ourselves. We can’t be a friend to anyone while we are still a stranger to ourselves, right? If we are less than whole within ourselves, how can we be anything greater than that with others.
Why is self knowledge important?
Now don’t get me wrong, having a partner in life is a great thing, but as long as you need them to fill a gap in your life, you will live in fear of loss. This can, and likely will, lead to all sorts of other problems. Without knowledge of yourself, how can you get to know another, and they to know you?
Self knowledge, therefore, is the foundation of your being. Without a strong foundation, anything you build on it is suspect at best. What do you build on that foundation? Your personality, your beliefs, your relationships, all these things and more, are based on the foundation of your knowledge of self.
Where can I apply this in my life?
If you didn’t really like something, but did it to impress (or be able to hang out with) a group of people, are those relationships you build on solid ground, or are they on shaky ground? What will happen to those relationships as soon as you decide you don’t want to keep up the charade anymore?
Those were relationships based on a lie, but lack of self knowledge results in people living a lie, right? You do something, but it just doesn’t feel right. You keep doing it, for whatever reason, making it part of your life, part of your personality, part of your beliefs. Then you realize that there is a reason you felt uneasy. You look deep inside and realize that’s just not you.
I have seen it happen to smokers, who had come to the realization that they really didn’t like smoking, but their entire life was built around smoking. The bulk of their close relationships were with smokers. Their identity and core beliefs had revolved around smoking. As they contemplate cessation, they realized they were trapped. To give up smoking was like cutting an arm off, it was so much a part of them.
This is one simple example, based on a pet peeve of mine, but plenty of others could be made. I hope you can see that knowing yourself is important, and that the more you know about yourself, the better the quality of decision you can make about how you want to live your life.
That’s just one kind of self knowledge. What else do you not know about yourself? If you are seeking something to make you right, it is my belief that you are lacking in that knowledge about yourself. Think about some of your yearnings, why do you want that person, place or thing? What is missing in your life, or your understanding of yourself, that makes the other so important?
This quote is about very close personal relationships. If you are desperate to find the perfect someone, write down exactly what you’re looking for, and then write down why. That’s going to be your roadmap for self exploration.
If you are looking for physical beauty, do you have doubts of your own attractiveness? If you are looking for money, do you have concerns about what you have, or your ability to get what you want? In some cases, you may be looking for a partner with similar qualities, but if that’s not the reason why, you might want to dig a bit deeper.
Consider what reasons you might have for doubting yourself, or for what you need to complete you. Why is that? What would it take to strengthen yourself? Keep asking more questions, keep digging, until you find the true source of your feeling, belief, fear, or insecurity.
The solutions will be something you will have to work out for yourself, and you may be faced with some difficult choices (like our smoker from the example, above). But at least you have a stronger and more clear relationship with yourself, and that’s a great start to the rest of your life.
From: Twitter, @DeepLifeQuotes
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/shirleymac406832.html
Photo by Canadian Conservation Institute
Happy Birthday to Shirley MacLaine, born: 24 April, 1934.
