It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
You are not a word, especially one not of your own choosing. You are more than that, so if someone says it, ignore them. Don't answer to that word. Strip both the word, and the idiot who used it, of their power to hurt you and your self-esteem. Click on the Photo link at the bottom of the post for her story.
What does that mean?
This quote is quite moving, and touches me deeply. It’s also interesting, as the character portrayed by the actor was always quite the rascal, praising his favorite alcoholic drinks, and being less than kind in his talk about women, kids, and dogs.
This quote means a lot to me, as it was my first and best defense against the bullies of my day. I was always tall and quite thin (bean pole was a very old fashioned term for my physique). I just ignored them. It didn’t hurt any less, but they went away quicker than if I tried to engage them in a discussion.
To me, that’s what this quote is about. There are mean people in this world. They will say mean things. Sometimes, they will direct their comments at you. The quote implies that you should ignore them. If you answer to them, you are accepting the name they have given you. And that’s rarely a good thing, right?
Why is self-esteem important?
When someone says something bad about you (or to you), they are challenging your self-esteem. How do you see yourself? How valuable do you consider yourself to be? By acknowledging their taunt, by answering to the name they called you, you are lowering your self-esteem, aren’t you?
By denying their view of you, and standing up for your own view of yourself, you can make your view of yourself the dominant one. If you keep answering to their view of you, you start to make their view of you the dominant one. Personally, I prefer to control my destiny, as much as any of us do, at least.
For me, the person who controls the self-esteem controls the life of the person in question. If you are in control of your self-esteem, you are in control of your life. If someone else controls your self-esteem, I would argue that they also control a great portion of your life. When they say something, they know how you will react. You are their puppet. They are the master. I know I don’t want to live with someone else pulling my strings, do you?
Where can I apply this in my life?
How often were you bullied as a kid? Are there still jerks in your life who call you things, just looking to mess with your head? If it has never happened to you, you are a truly lucky and blessed soul. Perhaps you saw it happen to others. Hopefully, you never did it to others, right?
If it ever happened to you, there were probably times when you were able to ignore them, and times when you were not able to do so. If you are anything like me, there’s quite a difference between those two examples, isn’t there? How different did it feel, how different was the outcome?
Are there any names that an idiot can call you that still causes you to answer to them, to dance on their strings? If so, can you imagine how much nicer your life could be if you simply ignored the idiots and went on with your life? I know that my life became much more pleasant when I developed a thick enough skin (and a strong enough will) to ignore them.
For me, it was just the kids up through High School, with a little bit during College. Being a white guy of diverse heritage, I wasn’t targeted for much of anything beyond my general geekiness and my physique (or complete lack thereof). For those of you who belong to a targeted minority group, you have an added burden of which I suggest you divest yourself.
In a previous post, I approach the name-calling from a standpoint of anger management. I also have discussed a similar topic from the standpoint of peace of mind. The point is that you are the captain of your ship, and it is your choice to accept or to refuse a hail from another ship.
That is your call. You can go either way. I would recommend you practice ignoring the idiots out there, for the benefit of your self-esteem, for your peace of mind, and to help keep anger in it’s place. The idiot will provide the stimulus, but only you can choose how you will react.
Take a deep breath, count to ten, relax, and just keep going. It won’t guarantee smooth sailing, but most of the idiots will leave you alone and go after more ‘interesting’ people to annoy. I usually wish them well on their journey (silently), and hope they will come to see the light of kindness and compassion.
From: Twitter, @RDIndonesia
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/wcfields104641.html
Photo by sera_leaving
