Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are. – Noah benShea
Does a fancy suit and a cane make you feel like you are more? Do jeans make you feel like less? Or are you more than that?
What does that mean?
This quote is fundamentally about happiness. I have seen too many people get caught in the trap that ties their self worth to their possessions. They feel like they are a second class citizen if they drive an old car, have last year’s phone, or don’t live in a great zip code.
The flip side of this is the conceited person, who feels they are more worthy than their fellows because they have more. They have a brand new truck, luxury, or sports car. They have the latest and greatest phone. They live in the most prestigious zip code. As an aside, I was once in a new employee orientation class where someone actually asked what the most prestigious zip code in the area was, so he could focus his house search there. Wow. Just wow!
After dealing with the relative nature of ‘stuff,’ the quote gets down to brass tacks and reminds us that we are more than the sum of our toys. We have to remember that what we are something completely separate from our ‘stuff’ and that we have intrinsic value, both of ourselves, and to share with others.
Why is having a self identity important?
If someone asked you who you were, how many would start instead by answering with what you were? Your job, your hobbies, your possessions, and the like? But is that list really who you are? For some, their job is their passion, and the two are largely inseparable. With the recent passing of Davy Jones (of the Monkees), he might well have answered that he was a musician, and describes both who and what he was simultaneously.
Having a self-identity is part of the core of who you are. As your identity changes, so does everything you think, say, and do. So your identity is really who you are. As was described above, many people really don’t know what their identity is. Write down what you think yours is, this could be an interesting journey.
Where can I apply this in my life?
So how does one find out who they really are? Massive stresses tend to bring out the real you. If you were on a sinking ship, would you help the women and children to the lifeboats, or would you trample them underfoot in the rush to get a seat in first?
I would start with a series of probing questions. Start with the things you absolutely would never do. Grab some paper and write them down. Would you never tell any lies, or just not lying about important things? Write it down. What else? This is starting to show one edge of your identity.
Then write down the things you absolutely would do. Would you run into a burning building to rescue anyone, or just family, or would you not even be willing to try (it’s not a value judgement, just be honest with yourself and your thoughts on being burned). What other things would you absolutely do, no matter what?
Now think about your feelings. What are the things that mean a lot to you? Pick an emotion that is your favorite. Perhaps something like familial love, or the larger love of all humanity. Write the top few of these down. What roles do you have each day? Also add some of your beliefs and personal values.
What are your favorite and least favorite situations? Are you more at home at a party, or sitting quietly by yourself? Now add to the list of some of the things that define you. Race, ethnicity, gender, nationality, talents, skills or other aspects of your life.
Take a moment and look at your list. Some of these are group attributes, and others are personal attributes. Circle the ones that are both personal and the most important to you. Looking at the circled entries, how well does it describe you? Are there some things missing? Just add things if they are big parts of who you believe you are.
So, how was the ride? I found it to be very interesting, but not too surprising. After all, I’ve been examining myself for nearly 20 years, and would like to think I know myself fairly well. How about you? Do you have a better idea how you would answer the question “Who are you?”? I hope so.
From: Twitter, @tonyrobbins
confirmed at : http://www.citehr.com/194387-10-inspiring-thoughts-tough-times.html It’s the second quote on the page.
Photo by cliff1066™
