Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by his heart, and his friends can only read the title. – Virginia Woolf
Read a chapter from 'the book of you' to your closest friend.
What does that mean?
To me, this quote speaks of the differences between our private lives and our public lives, those things we express and the things which remain hidden deep within us. How our friends can only read the outside of us, not what is truly in our hearts.
We all have events in our past we are reluctant to discuss with others. Some of these events are never spoken of to anyone, others only with the closest friends we have. Everyone else only can see the title, the spine of the book, sitting on the shelf. While this quote was more appropriate in the rather formal era of the author, for many of us, it still holds true today.
Why is communication important?
While I don’t advocate telling your deepest, darkest secrets to strangers or acquaintances, there is some benefit to you (as well as to others) to share more of your life than you have up to this point. I would pose this question, how can you truly know someone who withholds parts of themselves from you?
Consider the question from the perspective of the other person, how can they truly know you, if you withhold parts of yourself from them? Think about how much more connected you can be if you share more of yourself, and they share more of themselves. Yes it can be scary, as they might not be accepting of your past or your present interests. But for a richer life experience, you might want to consider sharing a little more of yourself with them.
Where can I apply this in my life?
I found that this was so interesting a quote that I selected it before I figured out where I was going to take it in the blog. There are so many parts of myself that I haven’t shared, mostly because they seemed so old or so irrelevant. Chapters of me that I haven’t even read in ages, much less shared with anyone. It made the quote truly resonate with me. How about you, do you identify with the quote at all?
For the purposes of this blog, I would like for you to consider the parts of yourself you hide from others and why you don’t share them. Take a moment and consider what of the parts of your life you haven’t shared with anyone else that you might be able to tell to your closest friends. Also consider what parts of your life, which you have already told to a few, you could tell to more people.
In the classic 1950’s sitcom world, the dad didn’t talk much about how things went at work, and the mom didn’t talk much about how things had been durring the day. In the end, this lack of communication lead to laughs for the audience. Unless you’re an actor on a sitcom, that might not be the best strategy in the long term, right?
Even if you don’t have a spouse or significant other, you still have people in your life to whom you can talk, when the need arises. Sometimes you just have to blow off some steam, to rant and rave to someone besides the mirror. And sometimes, you are that person to someone else, whether in person or on the phone.
Communication is the heart of any relationship. Whether it’s reading to someone from the book that is you, or talking about how badly (or how well) your day went, communication helps bring people closer together. It is the fertilizer, if you will, of relationships. Sometimes it can stink, but it helps the relationship grow stronger. How’s that for an analogy?
The idea of this post is to open up the book that is you, and to share a chapter or two with others, to let them see something besides the spine of your book. Talking, discussing, communicating; these are the heart of your relationships with others, and they with you.
I would encourage you to work on this aspect of your life, as frequently and as often as you can, and with as many people as you can. The results will likely be true and great friendships that last a lifetime, and beyond. My family is still friends with the family of one of my grandfather’s childhood friends. Amazing, isn’t it?
From: Twitter, @girlscantwhat
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/v/virginiawo131852.html
Photo by markhillary
