Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is. – German proverb

"Hello, pleased to meet you, Mr. Lunch" said the 50 foot tall wolf.

What does that mean?
To me, this quote is reminding us that our emotions are powerful, and can be used to help us or to hurt us. A wolf is not a good thing to run into, especially since they rarely come alone. Even today, with modern methods of defending yourself, I would hate to be in the woods surrounded by wolves.

If you keep a level head, you stand a chance. If you let fear take over, you are in real trouble. This applies not only to wolves but anything that you fear. Committment? Skydiving? Public Speaking? All are things that can induce a little bit of concern, and are considered difficult for many of us. To handle on their own can be trouble. Throw fear into the mix, and suddenly the problem seems ten times larger. And that’s a darn big wolf!

Why is resolve, despite fear important?  
When you have fear in you, you have to make a choice. Will you continue to live in terror, or will you face your fears and do what you need to do anyway? Being resolute is one way to push past your fear. Decide that no matter what, you will do this thing, and then do it. Not to make fear go away, but to prove to yourself that you can do it despite the fear.

Understand that fear is a natural reaction, a part of being human. But I hope that you also understand that fear is just a warning that what you are considering is potentially dangerous. Consider everything about what you are trying to do and then decide if you are resolved to do it, or have decided not to do it. In either case, your rational mind should choose, not your fear.

Where can I apply this in my life?
For me, animals and physical challenges rarely cause fear. The fear comes from dealing with people. Asking my (now) wife for a date, proposing to her and deciding to start a family were three of the most difficult things to do for me, due to fear. Fear of rejection, fear of committment, and fear of the unknown, in specific.

Eventually, I resolved to do each of these things, and life has been great. In each case, my fear was largely unfounded. In each case, there were reasons for concern, risks that would be part of that decision. But in each case there were also reasons for concern and risks involved in not going forward. I used logic to make the decision and resolve to carry it out.

Take a moment and think of all the times in your life have you faced a fear, and resolved to move forward despite it? How did you feel once you made the decision, and once you had taken the step forward? Did it matter where the resolve came from, internally or externally, logic or emotion?

For me, making the decision usually brings on a different feeling, one of uneasiness and worry, but it usually passes fairly quickly. Once I take the step forward to accomplish the decision, it’s usually a relief. Do you feel similar feelings, or is it completely different?

Grab some paper and write down a couple non-trivial decisions you have yet to make, because of fear. Fear of making a decision, fear of making the wrong decision, fear of consequences, or whatever other fear you might have. Write down the decision you need to make, the major choices you have, and the fear (or fears) you are facing. This may take up a fair bit of paper.

Choose one of the decisions, preferably one you can bring to a conclusion by the end of this blog post. Examine the fears you have regarding this decision. Are they really as big as you think? Are there ways to make the ‘wolf’ smaller? Are there steps you can take to reduce or remove the fear? Write all of these things down, or even draw a line through the old fears, if applicable.

Look at what fears are left, if any. Think about what you think is the most likely result of moving forward, and write down a percent chance for that being the outcome. Then think of the absolute best and worst possible outcomes, and the percent chance for each of them. Note that it doesn’t have to add to 100%, as I would hope there are possibilities between the extremes, besides the norm.

Consider how devastating the worst possible result really is. Is the fear you have proper for that result? Consider what you can do to make that result even less likely. Consider the best possible result, and consider how you can make it more likely to occur.

Look at what your possibilities are, now that you have given everything some consideration. How is your level of fear compared to when we started? How strong do you think your fear will be once you take the extra steps to minimize the worst case and maximize the best case?

Resolve won’t make the wolf go away. You still need to make a decision and face the wolf. But you don’t need to fight a 50 foot tall wolf, if you can manage your fear and be resolute in your decision to face it.

From: Twitter, @AncientProverbs
confirmed at : http://www.famousquotes.com/show/1854793/
Photo by  vargklo