The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw

STOP! While that's a great start on a sand witch, I'm not interested in beach art. I'm hungry and I want a something to eat, OK?

What does that mean?
Communication is very important to inter-personal discussions, as it is how we move ideas from person to person. When communication goes awry, part of the idea is lost or misunderstood by the other person. The other person thinks they have the idea, but in fact it is, at best, not quite right and at worst it can lead to something tragic. This is the problem the quote is discussing.

The quote speaks of the illusion that communication has occurred, but in actuality, it has not. Both people think they understand what has been passed between them, but the ideas they have are not the same. This is where the illusion of communication can be most damaging.

Why is communication important?  
As humans, we need to transfer ideas from one person to another on a regular basis. Communication is the word we use for that transference. Often, miscommunications are due to difference in experience or differences in definitions between the persons involved. If a parent asked their child if their room is clean, does the parent and the child have the same definition of clean? Not likely.

How often do you think someone knows what you said, but it turns out that they didn’t? What happens next? Sometimes the result can be funny, but it’s usually not. In a business, it can be expensive, but it can be even more expensive in a relationship.

Where can I apply this in my life?
This isn’t as big of a problem in my life, at least not anymore. It used to be a big problem, but I learned a lot about this lesson with my first wife. Therefore I subsequently developed several methods to try to minimize this particular issue.

Some of my preferred methods to ensure good communication include:

• Before the conversation, I try to identify any potential differences in definitions, experiences, etc, which might lead to difficulties later.
• I try to listen carefully and completely to what they say.
• I ask questions when I think I might have misunderstood them.
• At the each logical step in the conversation, I repeat back, in my own words, what I think I heard them say.

How do you try to deal with communications problems in your life? What are some of the things that tip you off that things aren’t going smoothly? How do you try to prevent the misunderstanding in the first place? Think about this for a few moments. You probably have some things you don’t even realize you do, that you have learned by experience or by imitating someone else.

My maternal grandfather lost his first job on the first day, because he didn’t speak English very well. He was a framer in a new subdivision and was told to work on a particular house. He misunderstood which house and spent the day working on a the wrong house. That’s not good.

What have you managed to misunderstand when someone else was talking to you? What have others managed to misunderstand when you were talking to them? Grab some paper and write down a few of them. Try to get a little variety in the list. If most of them are funny, try to get a few that are not.

Look at the list and see if there is a common thread. Is there a difference in life experience that leads you to use a word that doesn’t have the same meaning or weight to other people? Is there a difference in age or cultural background that makes certain concepts quite different, despite using similar words?

If there is a pattern, you can try to fix multiple difficulties with a single change, which is an efficient use of your time, right? Look over the list of some of my preferred methods and see if any of them might have helped in your situations. Also consider any methods you might already have in your tool box and see how they might have worked to help you communicate.

Words exist to move ideas from one person to another. We call this transfer “communication.” Being as careful and precise as possible, and check the results frequently. Yes, it can be annoying to be so careful, but it’s also annoying to get an unexpected result.

From: Twitter, @tonyrobbins
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgebern385438.html
Photo by gailf548