One can acquire everything in solitude, except character. – Stendahl
I hear you knocking, but you can't come in!
What does that mean?
It means you can read books, you can meditate, you can pray, you can sing, you can learn to dance (solo) and you can practice all kinds of personal skills. All of these things you can do in solitude, whether on a mountain top, a forest cave or a deserted island.
However, character is nearly impossible to learn by yourself. How can you practice or learn honesty when there is nothing to lie about? How can you practice or learn trustworthiness when there is no one to deceive? How can you learn loyalty when there is no one to whom you would be loyal (or disloyal)? I hope this quote make a little more sense now.
Why are people important?
People, and social interaction are a fundamental part of what makes us human. It is also a big part of what makes life so much more special. Cares and worries are diminished when shared, and joys are multiplied when shared.
But society and socialization (groups of people, and how we interact with them) have rules, sometimes complex and seemingly contradictory rules. If you don’t believe me, think back to when you first started dating. Need I say more?
Being with people is required to learn how to interact, right? Character is how we are measured by other people, in a social context. Are you trustworthy? Loyal? Helpful? Friendly? Courteous? Kind? Obedient? Cheerful? Thrifty? Brave? Clean? Reverent? Can you tell I wrote this while sitting in the back of a Boy Scout meeting?
Where can I apply this in my life?
Well, you can apply this pretty much anytime you’re not in solitude, right? And even when you’re alone, you can use visualization and the power of your mind to examine past interactions and learn from your mistakes and successes. You can even learn about social interactions (for good or ill) from books and magazines.
Consider what aspects of your social interactions work well for you and are solid, and which aspects could use a little effort to improve. Look at the list from the Boy Scouts and consider what other people think of you in each of those categories (or in others categories, if you have other aspects that are important to you or your social circle)
Realize that there is just no pleasing some people, and you might not have plans to ever become as obedient as your parents, wife or boss want. You will also have to understand that sometimes the people you aren’t willing to meet the expectations of, will have power over you. That could end in a spectacular failure, right?
Think about which one you want to start to improving first. In what situation(s) does your chosen aspect of character show itself to be lacking? Which people believe you could stand to improve in that aspect? How far do you feel you need to go, and how does that compare to what they are expecting?
Once you have an idea of what you want to work on, and how far you are willing to go, it’s time to brainstorm. Come up with some ideas as to how you can improve your skills, as well as how to demonstrate them to others so that they know that you are improving?
This is a wide open field, so I can’t be of much help with details in this post. If you want to share ideas or ask questions, feel free to leave a comment and I, and the others here, will see what we can do to provide assistance.
I enjoy solitude from time to time, and enjoy the company of others as well. I’m still not particularly obedient, nor am I very reverent, and most people who know me understand that that’s the way I am and I’m comfortable with it.
Unfortunately, some people are not comfortable with it, and don’t spend much time with me. It’s sad, but you really can’t please all the people all the time. Choose your battles, choose your values and choose your friends.
From: Twitter, @GOP_Chica
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/stendhal101754.html
Photo by wjmarnoch
