It is easy to be proud and harsh and selfish – so easy. But we have been created for better things. – Mother Teresa
What does that mean?
To me, this quote starts out with a very prudent warning. It says to be careful of how easy it is to be proud, harsh and selfish. These are easy choices, if we are not prepared and are not careful in our choices. When things go well, it’s easy to say you did it, or at least helped to do it. When things don’t go well, it’s easy to snap at others and pass the blame. When things generate benefits, it’s easy to grab the lion’s share.
The second half of the quote reminds us that we are here to do better things than that. We are here, not to take the harder path simply because it is harder, but because it is the right path. Being humble isn’t easy, nor is being kind, or generous. But because these choices benefit humanity the most, because it makes life easier for others, it is the proper thing to do, and what we should aspire to do every day.
Why is living up to our better selves important?
To me, our better selves is a term for being the best possible person you can be at the moment. As we grow, as we learn, our better self moves the bar a little higher. In a perfect world, we would be that person all the time. But the world is not perfect, and neither are we. We try, we succeed, we struggle, and we fail. But we must keep attempting to get there, we must keep growing and improving.
As we go along, we may find that we are a better person now than we thought our better self was just a year ago. Growth is an important part of life, and of realizing our better self. Every experience makes us better, and moves the goal a little farther down the road.
Where can I apply this in my life?
When I was a little kid, I had a real problem with sweets. It took a while, but eventually I learned that I wasn’t supposed to grab a handful when no one was looking and sneak off and eat them all at once. That was very selfish. My better self wasn’t very good. But once I learned not to do that, my behavior became better than my prior better self. Fortunately, my better self also grew, so I could keep aiming higher.
This quote talks about three ‘easy way out’ behaviors. Hopefully we all have the intellectual understanding as to why these paths are to be avoided. However, if you have them, habits like these can be hard to break. First we must aware of them. Grab some paper and answer some questions relating to the quote:
- Proud – write down a couple times you claimed more credit than was due, or strutted a bit too much.
- Harsh – write down a couple times you snapped at someone, or treated them worse than they deserved because you were in a grumpy mood.
- Selfish – write down a couple times you took more than your fair share of goodies, be it food, drink, money, time or anything else that should have been shared more equitably.
Hopefully, it’s been a while since you did these things, but if not, don’t despair. There’s still time to make amends and seek forgiveness (or avoid retribution). In any case, consider each one item you listed and try to find patterns. Are there certain times or circumstances that bring out your pride? That bring about a harsh response? That cause you to become selfish?
Patterns help by allowing us to correct multiple problems with one adjustment. Select the aspect of your behavior you wish to start working on, and brainstorm ideas as to how you might prevent the present behavior. Then select the one you think is best suited to your situation. Now brainstorm ideas as to what new behavior you want in it’s place, and select the one you think is best.
Now, take some time and think about how you can make the change, replace the existing habit with the new one. How can you recognize the onset of the undesirable behavior? How can you motivate yourself to make the change every time and replace the old habit with the new one? If you need help, there are books, blogs and other resources on the internet to help you change your habits.
Change isn’t usually easy, nor is it typically a lot of fun. But if you believe there is a better you just waiting to get out, you will succeed. It may take a couple tries on each old habit, but in time, you will change each one. I’m still working at it, and probably will run out of days before I run out of bad habits, but the journey is what makes the effort worthwhile.
From: Twitter, @thequote
confirmed at : couldn’t find it in the usual places, but it’s on Page 12 of her book ( http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Starts-Prayer-Meditations-Spiritual/product-reviews/097938401X ) see end of 2nd paragraph of 1st review, sorted by ‘helpful’ dated 1 March 1999
Photo by Rochelle, just rochelle
