There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help, and what they cannot

There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help, and what they cannot. – Plato

What does that mean?
This reminds me of the old saying “There are two kinds of people in this world; those who divide everything into two camps and those who don’t.” Here we have a quote that divides everything in the world into one of two camps. In this corner, are the things you can help, and in the opposite corner are the things which you cannot.

By saying there are two things you shouldn’t get angry at, and then listing those two halves of everything, the quote is basically saying that there is nothing you should get angry at. Either you can help it, or you can’t, but in neither case should you get angry.

Why is being calm important?  
To me, calm is the antidote to anger. If you can remain calm, or regain your calm after loosing it, you prevent anger from gaining the upper hand. In prior columns, I have discussed other dimensions of calm. Today, we’ll consider calm as the antithesis of anger.

Think of a time when you were really angry. If you’re like me, you just had a sympathetic surge in your body chemistry to go with what your mind was remembering. Now think of a time when you were profoundly calm. Perhaps it was a quiet spring day, in a park, watching people, clouds, animals, flowers or whatever. What happened to your surge?

I have found that my mind and body are connected, and that a sufficiently strong emotion or memory can trigger an actual physical reaction. You’ve probably heard about the “fight or flight” response, I know the Hollywood movie directors have! It is my experience that you can train your body to release the chemicals related to the feeling of profound calm.

Where can I apply this in my life?
Guess what? Like any other new and improved behavior, it’s going to take a few repetitions to get this working the way we want. And when I say a few, I mean a lot. 8)

The basic training is just to think of a memory that is upsetting (anger), then go back to the calm memory. Gradually work up to memories that are more intense. When you get to a memory that is so intense that you cannot get calm after, then it’s time to work on a better calm memory.

If you don’t have a calm memory or need a better one, you just need to make one. First, find out what makes you calm. Think back and try to find a few memories that are calm. Then look for a pattern and figure out how to set up a day (or at least a few brief moments) of calm and beauty that you can remember for the rest of your life.

Some ideas might be sitting quietly with a family member or other loved one. A sunset or sunrise, a nice relaxing day at the beach or doing something you enjoy. Perhaps a brief moment of beauty at the top of a ski lift before tearing down the mountain. Find something and burn it into your memory for all time, making it the most profoundly calm moment of your life.

One of my favorite calm memories is from my honeymoon. We’d planned an afternoon picnic in a nearby park, but it was raining. So we had the picnic in our hotel room instead. We sat on the bed, looking out the window, listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops on the window, eating fruit and cheese, drinking wine and just being in the moment.

As I mentioned before, training your brain, emotions and biochemistry is just a matter of repetitions. Any time you remember being angry, or are actually getting angry, replay your calm moment in your head, and feel the anger draining away. Start with little angers, after all, you don’t load up a weight machine or barbel on your first day of exercising, right?

Now, when life gives you a situation where you can help, you can calm yourself and do something helpful. When life gives you a situation where you can’t help, you can be calm and accept it (even if you are less than pleased about it).

Remember, when you add up all the situations where you can help and all the situations you cannot, you get … all of them! Every single situation falls into on of those two categories. So don’t get angry, relax, be calm and do what you can to help. You might not be able to do anything about it, but by being calm, your presence can be helpful to others.

From: Twitter, @thequote
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/plato120361.html
Photo by JD Hancock