One can give without loving, but one cannot love without giving.

One can give without loving, but one cannot love without giving. – Amy Carmichael

A flower for you... with my love.

Similarly stated as “You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.” to Robert Louis Stevenson.

What does that mean?
The first half of the quote says that one give without loving. I would agree with that. How many times have you grudgingly given to a solicitor, if only to get them to move on? There are also transactions that might or might not be “giving” that are definitely not done with love (I’m thinking of taxes and fees here).

The other half of the quote says one cannot love without giving. I would agree with that as well. Think of all the people and causes you love and consider to how many of them you have given time, money or other assistance. If you can think of a person or cause you state that you love, but have given nothing to, I would venture it is either a very new love, or a misnomer on your part. Do you agree?

Why is giving important?  
Giving is part of how we show love. It appears to be hard wired in us, and in a wide range of life here on this Earth. We give of ourselves, our time, our talents, our treasures and even our blood as a way of helping, protecting and nurturing that which we love.

Giving makes us feel good, and everyone I know enjoys helping others. Some have said it is from our tribal roots, where the tribe survives best when all work together towards a common end. I don’t know about that, but I know that even when I give something to a stranger, even a smile or a kind word, that I feel good. Have you had a similar experience?

Where can I apply this in my life?
Think for a moment of how your life would be different without the gifts you have received from others. I’m less concerned with birthday presents, which can be of obligation (does your cousin really love you, or did you get a gift just because of your relationship?), but of the gifts of love.

How would your life be different without loving parents? Some of you may have grown up in that situation, you have my condolences. How would your life be different without the giving of many others, from school teachers, councilors, clergy, other mentors, helpers or friends? Yes, for some it is their job, they get paid to do it, but most also love their job and give freely of themselves to help others. Again, some of you may have suffered at the hands of people in these positions, and again, you have my condolences.

Now take a moment and think of the times you have given to a person or cause you have given to that made you feel good. When I do that, I feel good all over again, just thinking of the giving, how about you? One of my favorites was working on rehabilitating a 1950’s house with Habitat for Humanity. It was grueling work, and my arms ached, but man did I feel good about it!

Take a moment and think about some of the things you would like to give to your family, friends, and community. What is holding you back? Grab some paper and write down the gifts you want to give, and the reasons (or excuses) why you have not yet done so.

Time and money tend to be the big reasons/excuses we give for not giving of our money or time. Some have time but no money, others have money but no time, a few have neither and a handful have both. But what do you want to do? How much money or time will it take? How much of either do you have that is available for giving? Write down both what you want to do, and what it will take, as well as how much you have.

Now, for each of the gifts you wish to give, consider the recipient. Have you ever given someone something that you thought was neat, but they weren’t impressed? What do the people you want to help truly want or need? Sometimes you can give (and show love) in less expensive ways. I found my wife likes flowers almost as much as diamonds. I’ve saved a bundle buying flowers instead of rocks. She still feels loved, and my bank account feels good too!

Write down some of these options next to each person on your list. Next to each option, note what the difference is in cost or time compared to the initial idea. You might also want to include a note that indicates a relative desire by the recipient. For my wife, the flowers would be way cheaper, take less time to acquire and only score a little less on the wow factor.

Now that you have some options, how you proceed is up to you. Find what works best for you and the intended recipient and get busy. There is nothing more satisfying (to me, at least) than watching a face light up with joy, knowing the gift came with my love.

I haven’t talked much about causes, but the drill is the same. Just repeat the steps with the word ’cause’ or ‘charity’ in it’s place. In this process, there are no right or wrong answers, and we all learn from experience.

Give until it hurts… well, try to give smarter than that. There are plenty of people, charities and causes out there in need of gifts, and you’re just the person to help them. Get focused and get busy. And be sure to spread a little love with your gifts, that’s what makes them special to both the giver and the recipient.

From: Twitter, @mister_quotes
confirmed at : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Carmichael#Final_days_and_legacy
Photo by qwrrty