Non violence is a sign of strength; violence is a sign of desperation and weakness. – Dalai Lama
... and exactly what did this settle or prove?
What does that mean?
This is a testament to wisdom over ‘common knowledge.’ Many people think that fighting, conquering and vanquishing are the ultimate way to settle a dispute. In reality, I believe it is the worst possible way, as the underlying point of contention has not been resolved. The friction remains, the anger remains. All that has changed is one side (or person) has defeated the other in a showing of violence.
Wisdom tells us that until the underlying point of contention is resolved, nothing will change. Fights will continue to occur until either the issue is resolved in other venues, or one side completely wipes out the other (think ethnic cleansing in Africa and the Balkans).
Violence is usually the play called by the side that is loosing the battle to win the hearts and minds of the people to their side of the issue at hand. That is a sure sign of both their desperation, and weakness of their negotiating position.
Why is strength important?
Strength means many things, and you may well be thinking big muscles. However, what I am getting at is the kind of emotional and moral strength necessary to walk away from a fight. The strength to take an insult, laugh it off, and keeping your cool.
Having the emotional strength is an important portion of the path of non-violence. If you are easily angered, how will you avoid violence? There is a difference between a thick skin, where you still hurt, you just don’t show it; and having the strength to let it roll off you back like water on a duck. A thick skin tends to insulate you from all emotions, not just anger, and it is a path I would recommend against.
Having moral strength is a more interesting discussion. Belief in non-violence comes from many places, sanctity of life, fear of repercussions, laws circumscribing it, and so many others. Is it moral strength that one respects a law forbidding something? Yes. How about if one respects life and refuses even to injure? Again, Yes. So all of these show the use of moral strength to avoid violence. What is your motivation?
Where can I apply this in my life?
I love it when a point of philosophy I have held to for a long time is validated by another. I have held for a number of years that violence is what a person resorts to when they have run completely out of ideas for other solutions to a problem. The word desperation fits the bill fairly well, does it not? You can’t see it, but I’m doing a ‘happy dance‘ here.
How strong are you? How well can you ignore insults and provocations? Are there words that, when spoken, make your blood boil or have you seeing red? That might indicate that you still have some work to do on the emotional side, even if you have the self-discipline to keep your cool.
How well grounded is your dedication to non-violence? Are there conditions where you would resort to violence? This isn’t a condemnation of your values, but a suggestion that you consider why you would use violence and under what conditions.
Ask yourself what would be gained from the violence that you would not be able to gain any other way. Then ask what the violence will cause in reaction. Will it start a feud, or send you to jail? Only you can decide what value you will place on your willingness to use violence. But understand that violence cause ripples on the pond that impact others as well.
I’m big enough that not too many people give me grief, but that wasn’t always the case. When I was growing up, I was often teased and otherwise given grief by many of my classmates. At the time, I didn’t have a choice, as the anti-bullying mindset didn’t exist at my school. I had neither the strength nor skill to fight. I just had to take it. That lead to the beginning of a Stoic phase of my life. It wasn’t fun, but I learned quite a lot about life.
I shared that because I wanted to show that not all non-fighters are doing so for moral reasons. It took me until deep into my twenties for this philosophical point to sink in. Now I am non-violent by principal, despite my size and martial arts training. I’ve come full circle, as it were.
How will you build your strength, both emotional and moral? Like anything else, you will have to practice. Hope you saw that coming. How do you build the emotional strength to resist the urge to violence? Read yesterday’s post, it’s all about that.
How will you build your moral strength? First you have to determine why you reject violence, and to what extent you reject it. Please take some time and examine the reasons you will or will not fight. Then ask why again and again, until you have a very good feel for your reasons and reasoning.
Now think into the future. Where you are willing to use violence, what will the repercussions be? Is the immediate satisfaction of violence worth the cost that will come later? I have found that for me, it isn’t. Your mileage may vary.
Once you have completed the interrogation of yourself, you can examine the results. Is that really you? Is that really the way you want to operate? Once you have come to a conclusion on your moral stance, all you have to figure out is how to get from where you are to where you want to be.
For me, it was a long slow journey, taking multiple decades to stumble my way to this path. There is still work to be done, especially on the emotional front. How you are doing and how your journey will go is out of my control. Only you can answer that question. And it will be a journey, not a destination.
As life changes, so will your emotions and your morals. Yes, I said that. Until I had a daughter, there were whole aspects of violence I had never considered, and that I am still working on. Life is like that. Curve balls when you least expect it.
Strength takes effort and repetition. But I think that, in the end, it’s worth it. Ready? Go! And One. And Two. And Three. And Four. And… 8)
From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at : it’s his own feed…
Photo by Polina Sergeeva
