If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be. – Unknown
Twoo Wuv. I mean “True Love.” From the movie The Princess Bride.
What does that mean?
To me, this quote is speaking of the most fundamental rule of the universe. Love isn’t owned and cannot be taken. It can only be given. This quote talks about mutual love and of the only valid test. If you love someone, you have to give them the freedom to choose for itself.
The freedom to choose is important, as sometimes a love is out of duty, loyalty, fear (of loneliness or retaliation) or for some other reason. In each of these cases, the love (true love) is only in one direction, the other direction of love is tainted by the reason for the love (something other than true love).
By turning the other person loose, they if they come back, it is (one hopes) because they love you, and the feeling is mutual. If they don’t come back, you would only have been fighting a losing battle to hold on to them. That is a battle that you will eventually lose, so lose it early and get on with your life.
Why is love (true love) important?
Let’s start with some definitions, shall we? Love is defined at thefreedictionary.com as “A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities or a sense of underlying oneness.” and “An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or a treasured object.”
Another definition to consider is infatuation, which is defined as “A foolish, unreasoning or extravagant passion or attraction (synonym of love).” If we look at the second definition listed for love, and apply it to people instead of pets or objects, you can see how it would resemble infatuation.
To me, this is where I differentiate true love from common love. True love (you may use a different word) is between two people and is mutual in nature and based on the calling of the heart. Compare this with a relationship where one person has a form of love for the other, but it isn’t mutual. If you’ve ever experienced both kinds, you probably have a definite preference for what I call true love, right?
Where can I apply this in my life?
We all have relationships in our life. Some even rise to the level that makes it appropriate to use the word love. Whether it’s familial love, brotherly love, romantic love or whatever other label you may have, putting the word love in it, takes it to a whole new level.
How do you measure love, and what are the rules you expect love to use? What are the do’s and don’ts? Does everyone have the exact same list? Do you talk about where things stand often enough to notice that things are drifting apart, or is your first clue their last act of desperation?
An interesting description of what I consider true love, with proper motivation, can be found in the New Testament, 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13, Verses 4-7 :
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Read the whole passage, and compare it to some of the people you love. How well does your love score by this measure? I try to keep track of my loves and keep track of how well I am doing. How often have you measured your love? It’s not something most of us do very often, if ever, right?
You may have a different way to measure love, and that’s fine. Just be sure that your partners in love know what your scale is, so that everyone is on the same page. My wife and I chose the Biblical passage above for our wedding, so we would know how to measure our behavior and our love.
Take some time to determine what your definition of love is and how it is to be measured. Then share it with the people you love and see if they agree. It might end in a lively discussion (or worse), but if that’s the case, that discussion will occur eventually, right? Do it now, before there are years of resentment built into it, and that way the hurt may be lessened and may be easier to heal.
This is probably the scariest of all the quotes I have tackled, from a practical standpoint. Who wants to take a chance at losing someone they love? But, as the quote says, if they don’t come back, it wasn’t meant to be. So by not taking that leap of faith and turning them lose, you may end up pouring a lot of time and effort into a relationship that is destined to fail. And that hurts a lot more. Trust me on that one.
From: Twitter, @Quotes_on_Love
confirmed at : http://www.quotes.net/quote/18405
The photo is scaled and referenced from the IMDb entry for “The Princess Bride” (1987) by MGM
Ok so what if it was a high a school love, we fell in love, and he met some one on the streets that he felt sorry for because she was homeless, moved her in with him and his parents while he was still with me and i didnt know, but had a huntch, because we werent seeing each other as much , so i let him go but, we still meet up with each other when we could, i loved him very much so every oppertunity i got to se him, i took it even though i knew he left me for her, but then b4 i knew it, he was gunned downed b4 i could even know, that it was, or wasnt meant to be while he was alive, so will we ever c each other again in the after life, cause i miss him soooo much….. I am so un happy with out him…. I LOVE YOU BABY….. YOU WERE EVERYTHING TO ME… REST IN PEACE BABY, I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN,
I had met this guy back when I was 12 2002…he was my age as well. We called him jayjay. He lived around the block from my grandmas and he would use to come and play with me and my friends. As we grew older I began to like him more and more.. fast forward to 16 me and him were still close we did love things together (no sex or oral) but other stuff. By 17 as we grew older in our teenage years I have got a car and we began crusing around the city. One night his friend&cousin had got into some mess so I drop him off at his house, we always got out the car together and kiss each other bye and give each other hugs. But this particular night he said ” I love you” (I melted) of course I said I love you too. In the past we would say “love you” but he put “I” in front and we stared into each other eyes before letting go. Earlier when I first met him of course as any other typical boy growing he talked to other girls and had girl friends and what not. But we were considered as best friends we were always around each other and always doing something together never missed a beat. Within 2007 (same year I was 17) he and his friend began talking to these two females and after some time he began “dating her”. Me and him went rounds and so did me and her. So I went and started talking to his brother for a month to make him see how it felt. He was so mad at me it was insane. One day I went to his house to pick his brother up.. He cused me out..he couldn’t believe I would even do that to him (now remind u me or his brother didn’t do nothing sexual) (but him and that girl did).. so fast forward a Lil bit more my best friend at the time name Dani, she had a sister that was a hoe. I found out Dani sister and JJ had slept together. I was pissed to the max. So of course months went by and me and ND the brother stop talking. So me and JJ started talking again but I found he was talking to the same female from earlier in the post. One particular night me and my best friend Dani we went straight over the girl house and started cussing her out because her and her friend wanted to fight us (we argue outside for 5mins and left). He said he was just playin her and that he was cheating on her with me. (Idk but we still in our teenage years so I couldn’t tell by the lies or what not) so me and him got into in the car after that arguing with them girls, I became upset because I didn’t even realize he was still talking to her after all this time..so I threw in his face “that’s y I started to your brother” and he threw back ” that’s y I had sex with Dani sister” I knew then on I really hurted him and he knew he hurted me. By this point in our lives we have a love and hate relationship.
2008- 2009 me and my bestie Dani had stop being friends. I hardly didn’t even see JJ nor his friend anymore we all grew farther apart. JJ and his friend reached out to me but I had started hanging out with new friends so I rarely seen them. As time went on I started to hang with a new guy I felt over heels for. It was like he took JJ place. Fast forward 2009 JJ and the girl from before had started talking again. I haven’t seen or spoken to him at all.
2010 me and JJ sister became really close we always hang out and did things together. One particular day in june I went over JJ house. It was a nice summer day him and his sister and cousin was on the porch while JJ got his hair done. Me and the sister was talking. Next thing you know JJ goes he asked me to go out with him again in front of his family, i was so excited but yet embarrassed I said “No” without no thinking or hesitation. This is the day that hunts me FOREVER!!! After I said no that day forward he no longer speak to me or talked to me. I was able to see him again while driving pass his brother house we talked and i found out he was dating someone and I asked for his number and he gave it too me. Weeks went by I reached out to him but he couldnt talk because his girlfriend was around so I hung up and I let a few more weeks went by and the same thing happen. So I gave up. ( I called a few months later but the number got disconnected)
I would randomly see him time to time but we would just stare at each other and give each other a Lil smile. I miss him more than any one knows. To this day ( 7years later) he is still with the girl from 2010 and theyre expecting a baby. I am currently engaged and in a relationship going on 3 years. The boyfriend I am currently with our relationship is going pretty good but I’m not in love with him like I am with JJ. Even my past relationships I was more in love with jj. I feel like “if you love something & it comes back then it means so much more” but I wonder back in 2010 if it was meant to be then, & if so did I blew my chances with him ever again?? Thanks for reading.
This made some sense to me. But when you are hurting, things that make sense drives the nail in deeper.
What if someone you love is in love (or likes) someone else? She knows I liker her. Do we stay friends? Or will be it too painful down the road for the both of us? Do I break it off and deal with the pain now? I am so confused and so tired of being at the wrong end all the time.
What if someone you love let’s you go? And for the reason that they let you go because they said they love you but feel that they don’t believe you are ready for a relationship? I haven’t stopped loving this person and I miss him but I have never been broken up with like this. Am I supposed to be the one who “comes back”? Our relationship was bliss, save for a short rough patch of us falling out of sync for a few weeks. I still believe we could have addressed it and worked it out but that’s just me. He sais because he loved me so much, he wanted to break it off before we hurt each other. I still don’t understand that logic.
Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your situation.
Sometimes, when you see that something is not going to work out, it is better to leave sooner than later. Perhaps he saw that the relationship was not going to meet his needs, and wanted to spare you the additional pain that breaking a longer relationship would cause. For whatever reason, he is gone.
Regardless of who broke up with whom, they have left. They might come back, but they also might not. It is now up to you to determine what you will do with the rest of your life. Consider what changes you could make to improve yourself, and for your own sake (not just to try to woo him back). What have you always wanted to do but didn’t because you didn’t have the time, or he didn’t want to do it too? Life is full of choices, and you now have more freedom. Enjoy it while you wait for life to unfold before you.
I would try to figure out what makes him fear you guys hurting each other. What insecurities does he or you have. I believe most insecurities or worries are not worth worrying about as they bring about anxiety. You can work on yourself and your own personal growth, and encourage him to work on his own growth to be better, more confident and more deserving of love. Learn to love yourself before others will begin to love you.
My girlfriend woke up one morning said she wasn’t happy anymore, said the relationship the sex everything got boring. She told me to give her the day to think. We talked in person that night she told me she didn’t love me anymore. I was devastated. I did all the cliche mistakes trying to get her back. I’m blocked from her life in everyway now. I still love her possibly more than before even. I believe in what we had. I know now that I have to let go, and hope it was real and that she would see it one day and return. What are your thoughts suggestions comments concerns. I’m 29 she’s 24, she hasn’t spoke to me in a month. We were together for 8 months staying with one another.
Thanks for stopping by and for leaving your story.
My apologies for being so long in responding. It’s been 6 or 7 weeks now, so I’m not sure how you are doing right now. All I can think to say is that she is still in an exploratory stage, looking to find what she does or does not like, and you were to settled for her liking. Perhaps once she has had a chance to try other things, she will consider coming back. But in the meantime, I hope you have been putting your free time to good use, and improving yourself in ways that are meaningful to you.
I had a friend who went through a similar situation. Very painful for him as much for me as I felt it close and went through the ups and downs. I think learning to let go is an inevitable skill we have to learn in life. One of my universal rule is ‘Nothing lasts forever, not even Forever’ This encompasses Love. I cannot swear to love the same person forever. I can try to learn to love the same person every single day of my life. I can choose to love the same person every single day. But the day I stop making that choice, I stop loving.
Keep loving life and living the life, doing all that you enjoy and growing up. Learn to love from a distance. After all if you truely love her, all you want for her is to be happy and enjoy love be it that may not be with you. Is there such thing as a higher form of love versus the selfish love where ‘I want all of you to belong to me!’ Is that even love? I don’t know. Perhaps we all have different answers to the same question. That makes it perhaps very complicated to find a common answer.