Where love rules, there is no will to power; where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.

Where love rules, there is no will to power; where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other. – Carl Jung

Are these the faces of love or the faces of power?

What does that mean?
It sounds to me that he is saying that love, when pursued, excludes power; and that power, when pursued, excludes love. Put another way, pure love contains no attempt to hold power over the other person; and that if you are attempting to hold power over another person, there is no room for love.

He calls love and power the shadows of each other. I would probably have used opposite poles of a magnet, but that’s just me. Does it make sense to you?

Why is the relationship between love and power important?
The old expression “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they are yours, and if they don’t, they weren’t yours to begin with.” comes to mind. While it may be said in many ways, the premise is the same. Love is a power on it’s own, and doesn’t mix well with other forms of power.

In other words, love someone, but don’t try to force them to love you back. Don’t try to trick them, use guilt or other forms of coercion. By trying to use a power other than love, you taint the love, you ruin it, you poison it. How easy is it to love someone who is manipulating you, and playing games with your heart? Have you ever been there?

I believe the opposite is equally true. If you are strictly about the power, there is going to be little room left in your heart for true love. Some people may be able to segregate the different aspects of their life (I can’t). They can pursue power in business or politics, then come home, take off the suit and tie, and love their family just like the rest of us. But in the aspect of their life where they pursue power, I don’t think they love anything but the conquest, the victory, the vanquishing of an opponent.

Where can I apply this in my life?
To me, this expression is about getting your priorities straight. You can love people, or you can love power, but it is difficult (if not impossible) to do both. So the application of this quote is figuring out where love should be, and where power should be, and keeping them separate.

To me, family is where love starts. However, as I mentioned before, manipulating love is a form of pursuit of power that adversely impacts love. Any statement that starts with “if you love me you would …” is clearly a manipulation. And it doesn’t feel very loving, does it?

To me, using guilt is just another form of abuse of power in a loving relationship. Pouting, throwing a tantrum, whining, saying that your friends have one (or get to do something), they are all forms of manipulation, and none of them increase the feeling of love, right?

I mention these things to point out that we all have done things like this, or seen them done in person or on TV. We should know better, but we all have habits. It’s one thing to try to influence them or try to guide their decisions, but it is another thing to manipulate them using power.

Hopefully you can keep this in mind when you are with someone you claim to love. And hopefully you will treat them like you love them, and not try to manipulate them. Grab some paper and write down the names of five of your family and close friends. Then list next to each one the method(s) you think you use to manipulate them.

I don’t know of any method other than conscious competence to try to get better. Try to be very sensitive to when you are manipulating a person. That’s why you made the list. When you are with the person, try to notice what you are saying and how you might be manipulating them. Are you withholding something they want, holding it hostage unless they comply? Try to recognize the ways, and try to avoid doing it again.

Instead, try to use emotion and logic to convince them to do what you want. Try to stay away from the negative emotions, or the withholding of the positive emotions. There are plenty of ways to influence people, without having to place the loving feelings in jeopardy. And in the end, the love is what really matters, right?

From: Twitter, @Quotes_on_Love
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/carljung114804.html
Photo by Ed Yourdon