Compassion belongs to every sphere of activity, including, of course, the workplace. – Dalai Lama
What does that mean?
To me, it means that there is room for compassion in all aspects of our lives. Our work life is no different from any other aspect of our lives. Compassion belongs in us when we are at work, at play, with family, with friends, with groups, with strangers, and even with those we disagree with. Even, if I might dare to say so, with those whom we might label as enemies. Note that compassion does not require us to give in, or to roll over and let others have their way while we sacrifice ourselves and our values. But it does mean we have to be tolerant, patient and forgive them for their (in our eyes and values) their shortcomings or transgressions.
Why is compassion important?
When I think of compassion, I see it as the main component of happiness. And to me, happiness consists, among other things, of tolerance, patience and forgiveness. Think of it this way, can you be happy and intolerant? Can you be happy and impatient? Can you be happy while holding a grudge? I know that I cannot be happy and any of those three things simultaneously. I may find such emotion that I temporarily forget that I’m mad at someone, and in that moment of distraction, be happy. But happiness does not mix well with intolerance, impatience and grudges. Can you think of a time when you were happy and mad at the same time? (no mother-in-law driving your new car off a cliff jokes, please)
Next, can you call yourself compassionate if you harbor intolerance in your soul? Can you call yourself compassionate if you are in such a hurry that you cannot make room in your mind or in your heart for the needs of another that might have a more urgent need? Can you call yourself compassionate while you harbor ill will or anger towards another person or group of people? I know that I would not call myself compassionate when any of those three major aspects of compassion were not in their proper place. Do understand that I, like most people, strive to attain this perfection, and like most, I fall short. Frequently. But I get back up and, after reflecting on my reasons for failure, embark to find a different way to fail next time. 8)
Where can I apply this in my life?
Let’s consider the three aspects I outlined in the prior section. Then let’s look at what we can to to attempt to make these aspects more prominent in our lives.
Tolerance – I got an interesting lesson in tolerance while in college. Where I was living, some of us, myself included, were late night types. Others, nearly even with us in numbers, were early morning types. For a while there was a war. The late night types would live it up until two or three in the morning, and then go to bed. The early morning types would then bang on the doors and make noise at four or five in the morning, then clean out the refrigerator of all the good food, and drink most of the coffee. This went on for a while, and eventually, when the testosterone levels subsided, things were hashed out, and a quiet time was respected fairly evenly by both sides of the dispute.
What this means is that you won’t always agree with everyone, so it is important to respect their right to have a different opinion. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with it, nor do you have to let them have their way, you simply understand that they see the world differently.
Patience – I’ll go back to my usual point of frustration: slow, incompetent or idiotic drivers. I know, very judgmental words, which make it even harder to feel compassion, but there it is. I try to follow the rules of the road, perhaps with a bit of an exception on posted speed limits. However, I have difficulty being patient with people driving slowly in the fast lane, refusing to yield right of way to faster vehicles. I also have difficulty being patient with people who cannot hold their lane (stay in between the lines, as it were). Those are even harder to be patient with because their incompetence could well cause an accident.
What I try to do in these situations is to relax and let go of the frustration. Typically, I take a deep breath and imagine pushing all my frustration out towards them on a column of forcefully discharged air. I just have to be careful not to hyperventilate. You may find other visualizations or actions help you better deal with the need for patience. Experiment and find what works for you.
Forgiveness – I learned a great lesson at my High School’s 10th reunion. A guy who had been a real jerk all through High School came up to me and apologized. He said he was sorry for how he had acted towards me all those years ago, and even bought me a drink. I was floored, flabbergasted and flummoxed. I didn’t know what to say, other than to babble about how it was nice of him to say that. I hadn’t prepared for such a situation and really didn’t know what to do or say.
Now, I am better prepared, and would be able to specifically state my forgiveness, although I think he got the idea. Now, I try to forgive people proactively. I try to forgive them before they ask for forgiveness. Many times, they didn’t have the courage to ask for forgiveness, and my taking the first step made both our lives better. Other times, they were real jerks and took it as a sign of weakness. Most eventually learned from their mistakes, or avoided me. In either case, I forgave them, even if they weren’t around to hear it. I didn’t need the baggage, and I imagine you don’t either. Give forgiveness freely to any an all. It really doesn’t matter what they think, does it? What matters is that you relieve yourself of their baggage and move on with your life. Who do you want to forgive?
Hopefully you have had a chance to consider the three major components (by my reckoning), you can see how they contribute to both your happiness and your ability to be compassionate to others. At home, at work, or at play (or anywhere else, for that matter), you can be compassionate. Start by tolerating your little foibles, being patient with yourself and your issues, and forgive yourself for your personal shortcomings. Work on improving yourself, but be sure to be compassionate as well.
From: Twitter, @DalaiLama
confirmed at: uh, dude? it’s from his own twitter feed! 
