The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. – Dale Carnegie
What does that mean?
Please remember that this was written in a different age. Bringing it into the modern era, it would more accurately read “The expression a person wears on their face is far more important than the clothes they wear on their back.” This applies to all people, male and female, and that is how I will address it in this post.
This speaks to me about attitude, and what kind of attitude you have. A smiling person, a business-like person in jeans and a t-shirt make a better impression on me than someone who is mad at the world, but wearing a suit. What do you think is more important, the person and their attitude or the clothes on their back? And as the eyes are the window to the soul, so the expression on your face is a window on your attitude.
Why is attitude important?
As was postulated in the paragraph above, the attitude is far more important than the clothes the person is wearing. Take a fast food joint (please!). They all dress the same, yet I imagine you have placed your order with one person, and noticed the person taking orders in the next line over has a noticeably different attitude. That’s what this saying is all about. It doesn’t matter if they’re male or female. Nor does age, race or anything else really matter as much as their attitude.
If your attitude stinks, so will your $2000 suit or dress. Don’t be the person everyone snickers at because they’re well dressed, but look like they just bit into something awful tasting, sour or otherwise unpleasant. A nasty attitude results in a nasty face. Conversely, the humblest of clothes can be radiant if the person in them has a great attitude, and wears that attitude on their face.
Where can I apply this in my life?
I would most likely start with conscious incompetence. Know that you don’t know how to do it. Become aware of when you are doing it wrong, when your attitude isn’t proper, isn’t as good as it should be. Try to be observant of when you are getting feedback from others that your attitude isn’t appropriate, or isn’t appreciated.
Once you have started noticing when your attitude stinks, you can take action (after the fact) to correct the attitude, and therefore the look. This is conscious competence, knowing what to do, and being able to do it when you notice that you aren’t putting your best face forward.
How do you change your attitude? To start with, just find a more resourceful attitude, or soften the present one at least a little bit. If you are furious at someone, try to tone it down to just mad, then just a little mad, then miffed, then slightly upset. If you’re having trouble, consider your internal dialog. What are you telling yourself about the incident that messed up your attitude? Are you using magnifying words like “betrayed me” or “stabbed me in the back”? How different would your attitude be if instead you said “it’s a shame they did that, they must not have understood what I said”? While it may sound naive, remember that your attitude is a choice. Do you really want to give others the power to ruin your day? I know that I don’t.
If you don’t find anything about the attitude in your internal dialog, consider what images, sounds or other sensory impressions you have when you think about the person who made you furious. If it’s an image, take away the color, then smear the resulting black and white image until it’s all gray. Or fade all the colors to water colors, then all to a soothing shade of pastel. If it’s a movie, turn it into a comic strip, with a frame for each key event. Then reduce the number of frames until you’re down to one. Then fade that image until there is nothing left but a smudge. If it’s a sound, muffle it until it no longer is understandable. If it’s a smell, think of something which has an aroma you like and picture it in your mind, getting bigger and brighter and better smelling, until the old smell is gone. I think you see the pattern. Minimize that which hurts your attitude, and maximize the things that support a good attitude.
After you have been doing the conscious competence for a while, some of it will become automatic, become a habit you do without thinking. Welcome to unconscious competence! Life just got easier. This will first show up in situations where the stimulus of your bad attitude happens the same way frequently. I used to arrive at work mad, pissed off and sometimes even furious at the incompetent idiot drivers in this town! Slowly I changed the dialog, and imagined that they were just too stupid to know better, or in a real hurry, and relaxed a little bit on the drive in. It did wonders for my attitude, and I’d like to imagine my already wonderful countenance was even more wonderful to gaze on. 8)
As you work your way though all the pains and irritations of life, you have to make a choice as to how you choose to respond to these events. I’ve been called nasty names, but you should see the look on their faces when my reply, instead of being an insult back, is “I’m sorry you feel that way.” and walking away. I choose to not let the irritations get to me. Your attitude is a choice, and the choice you make will influence your day, your mind and your body. Make it a good choice.
As the eyes are the window to the soul, so the expression on your face is a window on your attitude. So unless you have a world class poker face, plan on having a good attitude, regardless of what you are wearing. And remember, a little smile can go a long way!
From: Twitter, @FamousWomen
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dalecarneg386932.html
