Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true. – Yogi Berra
Are you like the boy who cried wolf, telling nothing but lies?
What does that mean?
I love this guy, he has a problem with thinking so much faster than he speaks, and sometimes crossing his wires. I have the same problem, but not to the same extent as he does (or at least I don’t have reporters following me around to document all of my Malaprops, which is almost the same thing). For those who don’t know, Malaprops are named after Mrs. Malaprop, a character in The Rivals, a play by Richard Sheridan, and derive from the French & Latin mal (bad, negating) & apropos (appropriate) and defined by thefreedictionary.com as “the unintentional misuse of a word.”
I think he was trying to say something like “half the stuff they say about me isn’t true” and “they lie half the time” then smashed them together. In either case, he was not happy about something someone said about him. Some people get upset at lies told about them, others shrug them off, at least for a while. But if you have good character, and are known to have good character, then the lies are harder to believe. There will always be detractors, people who will believe the worst just because they don’t like you. Learn to live with it.
Why is character important?
So, what does character have to do with half the lies being untrue? As an aside, are the other half of the lies true? From a standpoint of logic, that is an interesting statement. By being known to have good character, it is usually easy for people to spot the obvious lies. The lies will be fairly obvious, and out of character for you. There is that character word again, with the phrase “out of character” meaning outside your expected behavior.
If you are known to do disreputable things, and you have been reported to have done another (but false) disreputable thing, people are less likely to believe in your virtue. The definition of virtue and what constitutes virtuous behavior will vary from person to person and culture to culture. Please understand that you will never be able to please everyone, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put forth at least a little effort.
By being consistent, your character (good, bad, or somewhere in-between) will be known. If you are a known gambler and womanizer, but completely adverse to violence, someone accusing you of attempted murder is not likely to get too far with the claim. However, if you do dabble in violence from time to time, it will be harder to refute.
Where can I apply this in my life?
Being “in character” or “out of character” is the other half of definition of character that is not often considered. You might want to examine what you do in your life and how consistent you are in doing, or not doing, things.
Are there some slightly disreputable things you do? Are you always 100% honest and truthful? Very few of us can claim that level of honesty. Most of us strive towards honesty as much as possible, but sometimes the “little white lie” rears its ugly head. Others lie when it suits them, or even on a whim. Some are as bad as “the boy who cried wolf“.
How truthful you are on average will determine how likely others are to believe you in critical situations. This lesson appears in movies and books so frequently, you would think we’d have figured it out by now, yet somehow, some people still don’t get it. Perhaps people are following the example, even though it is a bad example. Makes no sense to me, but that’s what some people who have the credentials are saying.
Truthfulness is just one dimension of your character and how you act. What other character traits do you acknowledge? What is a critical component of character to you? For instance courtesy might be very important to you, but not even be on the next persons list. Put together a list of at least 3 or 4 other items that are part of what you think makes up the phrase “good character” – go ahead and to that now, I’ll wait.
Look at your list and evaluate a couple of your best friends. How high do they score on each item on your list? How consistent are they in that specific behavior? Now consider some people you tolerate, but aren’t really friends (even though they might want to think that they are). How high do they score on each item on the list and how consistent are they in that specific behavior?
For most of the people I considered, the closer the friendship, the higher and more consistent they were in the traits that were most important to me. Those who I would consider acquaintances, even though they obviously want to be my friend, tended to score significantly lower in one or more of the traits, or had gross inconsistencies in them.
I hadn’t really thought of analyzing friendship by this method, so the question asked shows its power once again. I should talk to the people who want to be my friends and explain to them that I value certain behaviors and that they don’t measure up to my standards to be a friend. They will need to step up if they want to be elevated to the status of friend.
Obviously, I need to work on the wording a little, but I think you can see where it will lead. Once they know where they stand, they can make their decision. They can to try to change those behaviors or understand that they won’t be as close to me as they might. I believe in transparency and honesty. I don’t think it’s fair to the other person to leave them in the dark. That is a character trait I value very highly. How about you?
Keep working on your character and the consistency thereof, and remember: it ain’t over until it’s over!
From: Twitter, undocumented feed (my bad)
confirmed at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/y/yogiberra100356.html
Photo by Photography By CalvinCropley
