You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
How do you treat people, and what does that say about you?
What does that mean?
Well, most people are really nice to the people who can help them. Weather it’s buttering them up or brown-nosing, there are a plethora of terms for being nice to those who CAN help you. That, at some level, (in some way, shape or form) is almost expected in this day and age.
But how do most people treat those who can do nothing to help them? Some are indifferent, others are anywhere from haughty to hostile. On TV, you often see the rich and powerful treat underlings, staff and hired help like dirt. It is done that way to show you their character. So, in essence, you already know this quote, as do most script writers, and they know you know, you know?
Why is character important?
Your character is central to your very being. It is the set of rules by which you live your life. It is how you make important decisions. It is how you are known by other people. Do you want to be known as a mean person or a kindly person?
Are you known as Mr. Scrooge or as Mr. Cratchit? You will be known as something. How you treat others, especially those who can do nothing for you (such as strangers, hirelings or people of lower station in life), will help form your reputation.
Where can I apply this in my life?
How do you treat the clerk at the checkout counter? Are you mean and surly, or kind and understanding? How about if the machine runs out of paper tape just before you get there, and you have to wait? How about if the person in front of you decides they didn’t mean to buy something, and everyone has to wait for a manager to approve a VOID? Hmmmmm.
How do you treat other “public servants”, like the mailman, the clerk at the local motor vehicle department (license plates, drivers licenses, …), the police officer who pulled you over, or the guys picking up your trash? Do you say ‘hi’ or do you look down your nose at them?
How about your neighbors, even the one with the teenage kid who plays the music really loud? Or the one with the dog that loves to bark? The waiter that was slow with the food (or was it the cook?) or with the water pitcher? How about everyone’s favorite, the telemarketer or door to door solicitor/salesman?
Now that we have some ideas of who you might not treat well as you might wish, let’s get into some specifics. Why do you treat them the way you do? What would you have to think of them as a person to justify your behavior? How does this reflect on your character?
How do you think you SHOULD treat them? What would you have to think of them to justify the new behavior towards them? It’s an easy enough process on paper, but it can be gut-wrenching if you are honest with yourself and have been less than kind to people.
Try it by selecting 3 or 4 times in the recent past when you have been less than kind to. Then for each, answer every question in the paragraph above. Try it, you might learn something about yourself, and what it takes to goad you to being someone other than your best possible self.
In the end, I have come up with a saying that I repeat to myself when I start to behave poorly. “none from whom I cannot learn” – that is, I can learn something from anyone. Period. I have yet to have someone pointed out to me from whom I could not learn something.
In some aspect, everyone knows more than I do, could teach me something. A bum or a beggar? Humility. A drunk? How to be less “stiff necked”, how to unwind. If you wish, you can try this for yourself. As always, your mileage may vary.
From: Twitter, undocumented feed (my bad)
confirmed at: http://josephsoninstitute.org/quotes/character.html – look at the very bottom
Photo by mysza831
indeed, that’s quite good quote. Feel moved just by read it.
I’m not english nature speaker, but I’ll try my best to write what I’m thinking now.
I hate people, me included. especially those who treat people bad. I don’t know what I say, I find my self confused with the way I look at people. Sometime I feel so disgusting with people around me, I keep thinking this people is corrupt, just think about themselves, treat nice when there is a profit or stuffs, I do really hate those kind of people.
Lately I realize that my friends is just like em. It’s make me so sad, stir my head confuses if its the truth or just my negative think. I starting to change my perspective about friend. I start to hesitant to trust, less on words, and isolated myself from em. What should I do…
I don’t know why I write it down at here, somewhat I feel you can at least give some advices of psychology aspect of my problem here.. I’m sorry if by any chance it’s bothering or wrong place to tell u my personal disorder. thanks in advance.
We all have our issues, so I’m not bothered by your posting them here.
Have you considered the possibility that you are being a bit harsh, both on yourself and on others? Yes, it would be nice if we all were perfect, and treated everyone well all the time. However, that isn’t the reality in which we find ourselves.
Consider that everyone is doing the best they can. Not everyone is as developed as you are. They might not see what they are doing as being part of the problem.
I would suggest that you hold firmly to your ideal, but realize that all will fall short of it. Allow yourself, and others, to be human, to fail from time to time. Just be sure to get back up, and to try again.
Consider the nobility of fighting a fight you know you will eventually loose. And then, having lost, get back up and fight again. Every day. For the rest of your life.
Hopefully I have given you some ideas, and other ways to look at life. I wish you all the best, and want you to remember that you are much stronger than you think. You can find your way, you can overcome your doubt, and you can be a great person. Stay strong.
Thank for the reply,
as u said,
“Consider that everyone is doing the best they can. They might not see what they are doing as being part of the problem.”
this words enlighten me somewhat. yeah, I think too much about little things around me, and it makes me worried, makes me think unclear.
and this one,
“Not everyone is as developed as you are.”
opening my eyes that I’m still immature and need a lot improvement of myself.
Sometimes I feel like ‘superior on the way I’m thinking of something’ than the others, but deep inside I scream and realize that this is not right. Few years ago I strictly think that my ideal is the right one, whenever I find friends whose had another one, I keep pushed my ideal into em. stupid me.lol
Somehow, as I walk through time, I don’t really care anymore about that different. and now I find myself accept it. People have different mind, ideal, so do I.
I feel great when I’m positive and shiny in front of the others, but sometime I comfortable with hatred and look down to the others too.
overall. your words somehow make me better maybe I should try to forgive myself. and try to get up from this state.
well, just like what you said above, the nobility of fighting a fight. having lost, get back up and fight again. Every day. For the rest of my life. it’s inevitable eh..
I don’t know how I ended up here.. unexpectedly, It’s nice to share with you, I think, I like to read the other articles more. Thanks.
We grow, we learn, we mess up, and we try again. Otherwise know as living our lives. Nice to have shared this moment with you as well. I hope we get a chance to chat again.
You are practically quoting Socrates, and that is a very good thing. When you realize what you don’t know, you have taken the first step in real knowledge. Keep up the good work.
What about those that cannot do anything for your success, let’s say someone you have been friends with for a long time now. However this person doesn’t really care too much about others, doesn’t care about improving their own life, and was recently diagnosed with a medical condition that affects their daily activities. What does a young person like myself (not even 30yrs old) do then, knowing that my efforts to help them probably will not be fruitful? Do I sacrifice my life and the various experiences I am behind on actually experiencing for myself in order to make sure this person keeps on living, regardless if they care about others lives or their own life?
I do not know the specifics of your situation, but usually there are additional paths between ‘do everything’ and ‘do nothing’.
The question you ask is should you trade your ability to enjoy life for caring for someone who isn’t going to enjoy it either way. The quote is about how one demonstrates character, not about how one enjoys life. Perhaps re-reading the quote will give you a better viewpoint from which to answer your own question, at least from the viewpoint of having character.
Caring for an ill, potentially terminally ill, person is going to have a major impact on your lifestyle. The answer to the question you posed will depend on what you value. Is a life, any life, worth the effort? If not, is the life of a distant friend or family member worth the effort? If not, is the life of a close friend or family member worth the effort? Depending on where you draw the line, and on which side of the line the person is, your question is answered.
My guess is that the person is very close to the line, leading you to secondary questions as ‘tie breakers’ in this decision. I presume that because you are asking this question, there is no one else to provide the assistance necessary to keep them alive. The question I would ask is “Why does no one else care?” It might be that the person has no surviving family, but it also might be because they are shirking their duty.
One other consideration is your age. How old do you think you will be when the person is no longer in need of care? Is their medical condition going to impact their life expectancy? Is it really going to take the rest of your life to care for them?
One final thought. Anything can be looked at through the lens of what you will lose by doing a specific activity. It is the negative view of the problem. You should also consider what you will gain by doing that specific activity. Is there a chance that you will change their minds, and help them towards self-sufficiency? Are there valuable life or work skills you can gain in the process?
With a life in the balance, this is not a decision to be made lightly. Regrets will follow you for the rest of your life, should you decide without being completely aligned behind the decision. I do not envy you, but you have the strength to work your way through this.
After reading the quotes, I examine myself and realized that much improvement is needed, thanks for the awareness.
Just remember that improvement is not a destination, but a journey. There are things you cannot do now, but will later, as your skills improve and your abilities blossom. Keep at it, and feel free to leave updates on your progress.
Who is to say that the person you think is beneath you is actually your master.
That was exactly my point with the wording I use when I begin to feel superior: “none from whom I cannot learn” – I am superior to none, nor are they to me, except as I choose to allow. I submit to my parents and to those I legitimately hold in positions of power over me (boss, sensei, etc…).
The point of the quote was not who was master or subject, but those who can do nothing to help you. The people who can least help you are the people who make the best measure of a person. If they could help you, is it your character motivating you, or some kind of quid pro quo arrangement? Hard to tell, right? That is exactly why the quote is so powerful. I hope that made more sense.