You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. – Plato

"Who are you looking at?" Are you the same person when you are at play?

What does that mean?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t rush into friendships.  I tend to be guarded in my speech, cautious around topics that are controversial, and fairly mellow in public company.  I’m probably just the sort of person he was talking about.  Get a game of football going, and I’m a whole ‘nother person.

Why is play versus conversation important?
Most people will go kind of easy in conversation.  Say the safe things, say what they think the other person wants to hear.  If they disagree, they generally don’t do so loudly or rudely.  If they agree, it will probably be equally subdued.

Compare this quiet subtlety to the parents at a local kids sporting event.  What happens when they think the referee blew a call?  Or if they think someone cheated?  How about when you and some friends play golf, football, volleyball or any other sport?  Does the killer instinct come out?

Do they curse or behave differently than if they were someplace nice, having a conversation across a table at a restaurant, bar or at a friend’s house? How does their sportsmanship play out?  Do they argue obscure rules?  Insist on their observation of where the ball landed?  Do they cheat, lie or bully?

And how does this compare to how they behave normally?  I’m sure we all can think of examples where the person at play is the same as the person in conversation, and also where it’s more a case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

In play, we are much more our real selves, stripped of the thin veneer of civilization, stripped of all the pleasantries.  No ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’, just bare knuckles, core values, competition.  What are your true colors?  Do they match the clothes you wear when attempting to behave civilly?

Where can I apply this in my life?
Well, if you haven’t guessed by now, this is about character.  Not being a character, but having some character.  So what it comes down to is how you want to be known.  Are you a congruent person, the same in conversation as in play, or are you more a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde kind of person?  More importantly, does your behavior bother you?  If you’re OK with saying one thing, but doing another, then this conversation is pretty much over.  Nothing I will say will change that view.

If you find there are times when you don’t behave as you think you should, perhaps you should ponder on that topic.  In theory, if you’re smart about it, and try often and hard enough, you should be able to change any behavior.  For example, I drive in a “spirited” manner.  Others would call it aggressive.

I have been working on it by conscious competence, that is by noting that I’m not driving the way I would have my children drive, and the adjusting to be more congruent.  Perhaps others might smoke, but tell their kids to not do so.  “Do as I say, not as I do”  How well did that work for your parents?

Perhaps you are the opposite, where you do the right things, but are too shy to defend your ideas and ideals in conversation.  That is a finer line than I can draw, as I am not that great at speaking, in large crowds or in small gatherings.  One thing that I seem to have noticed is that the people who are most comfortable with themselves are those who speak most freely.  That is usually good, but sometimes not so good.  That requires tact and awareness, and those are beyond my pay grade.

From: Twitter, @TheQuoteToday
confirmed at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/plato166176.html
Photo by Andrew Morrell Photography