Price your anger so expensive until no one can pay to see it. – HereTheQuotess
What does that mean?
There are times when others push us towards anger. In my opinion, this quote is asking us to raise the price of our anger.
Not in a sense of increasing the repercussions or the cost of being angry (that’s already high enough), but to raise how much they have to pay to get to see it in the first place.
If they can’t afford to pay you to get angry, then you don’t give your anger away freely. While that’s not to say that anger is a precious commodity to be protected, I believe it’s worth looking at anger in a completely different manner.
Why is managing anger important?
We all get angry, and anything we can do to reduce the frequency or intensity is, in my opinion, a good thing. By changing our attitude towards anger, we can take a big step. If we can treat anger like happiness, and decide when we will be happy and when we will be angry, we can in each case choose happy and dismiss anger.
If we take the path of this quote and treat anger as a thing the other person has to pay you to show them, you become more protective of it, and stop giving it away for free. Can you see how either of those attitude changes towards anger could change how often or how intensely angry you would become at any time?
As mentioned, the cost to each of us when we get angry is often far too high. Words said in anger are seldom the best spoken. Have you ever become angry and said something you later regretted? It can happen with friends, at work, or even among strangers. No matter where or when, anger always has a cost.
Perhaps we could extend the extreme pricing of our anger, until even we cannot afford to pay to see it. Imagine your life, and how different it would be, if you became irritated, upset or aggrieved instead of angry.
Where can I apply this in my life?
At times I have had trouble with my temper. Sometimes it was a slow boil that took weeks to build. Other times I just snapped. But each time I got to that point, I was giving it away for free instead of charging them a high price. And it never ended without some damage being done to people, things, or relationships.
In a large book store or library, anger management will have a very large selection of material available to read. You could always pick one and start reading. While we are all unique in exactly what will set us off, under which circumstances, or how many times it might take, there are some things we can all do to get better at managing anger.
For me, the first thing to do was to de-intensify the word. If you try to rank everything from mildly upset or disappointed to murderous rage, you might find you aren’t as angry as you thought. If you can find a different word for your state of emotion, you may find it easier to not be angry if you’re only moderately disappointed.
If you choose to actively refuse to become angry, as it is an emotion over which we have some control (like happiness), you can practice not becoming angry, or choosing to be only moderately disappointed or some other word of your choosing. We do have some control over this, and with practice, you can learn to point and laugh when someone tries to provoke you.
But to change, it helps to have motivation. Take a moment and think of the last few times you became truly angry, and what the price was you paid. Did you hurt someone (even yourself)? Did you break something? Did you damage a relationship? What would you give to have that moment back, and to make a different choice?
Your motivation can help you stay true to the path of pushing back against your anger. If you feel it building, promise yourself to make them try harder, to pay more to see it. Recall your regret, shame, or hurt, and use it to steel yourself to ignore it or to choose happiness over anger. At least give yourself a chance to turn away or to lessen anger to something less.
We all have a choice to make when we start down the path of anger. We can let it build like a snowball until it is too big to stop, or we can make choices which divert the snowball and park it before something or someone gets wrecked. To wreck, or not to wreck. That is the question. What is your answer?