Sometimes we expect more from others because we’d be willing to do that much for them them.

Sometimes we expect more from others because we’d be willing to do that much for them them. – Unknown

When you're hung up on a bull is not a good time to find out that the rodeo clowns aren't as interested in helping you as you would like.

What does that mean?
To me, it speaks of optimism and generosity, of giving and of love.  Most of us have probably had friends for whom we’d do almost anything (or more).  The single word that encompasses all of these traits is, in my view, loyalty.

Most of us have probably had friends who wouldn’t do anywhere near as much for us.  In some cases, it may be that the other person doesn’t really care that much (perhaps a bit too self centered).  In most cases, I would imagine it is because they don’t consider you as good a friend as you consider them.  I use the word “good” here not as a value judgment (good vs evil), but as a measure from really good friend down to acquaintance.

Why is loyalty important?
Loyalty is an big deal when you’re talking about a friend.  Now, we must all realize that what you call a “friend” and what I call a “friend” may differ in many different aspects.  To me, a friend is someone willing to do as much for me as I would for them.  That automatically presupposes levels of friendship.  And I have several.

There are some where they can be certain I will return their call or text as soon as I am able.  Others who know that if I see it’s them, I’ll stop what I’m doing and get back to them.  A handful know that if they ask, I’ll be on the next plane to where ever they need me to be.

Not all of my friends put me in the same category as I put them, and most have different rules for their categories.  So how do you define loyalty, when you can’t even agree how “friendly” you are?

Where can I apply this in my life?
The best part of me tries to be an unrequited friend. That way, I have no real expectations, but give as much as I can, within reason, and depending on the relationship.  Sometimes, the greedy me expects someone to do more than they did, but I try to remember that they are playing by their rules.

When I call someone a friend, I should be able to know them well enough to know where I stand on their scale of friendship, and what that means to them.  Will they be there to bail me out, sitting next to me saying “that was a wild ride” or refuse to take a collect call?  If you don’t know, how good a friend are you, really?

Not that you should plan out, in graphic detail, what all you’d do under what circumstances (that could get very dry, long and boring in an incredibly short period of time), but hit some high points.  If I was out of chocolate ice cream and couldn’t get to the store, would you run & get some for me?  Would you buy it on credit, or would you ask me for cash up front?  Be sure to let them know where they stand as well, but don’t badger them, because, well, they might not be that into you (in a friend kind of way).

Be sure you let them know what you consider loyalty to mean to you.  Ask them what they are comfortable with in return.  They might balk at the blood-brother ritual aspect of the A-List friendship you’re offering.  Or perhaps you will be the one balking.  Do it in the open in a frank discussion (not in the middle of a party kind of “out in the open”).

Then, once you two (or more, if it’s a group thing) determine where you stand, stand by your word.  If things change, and they start getting weird, either stand by your word, or let them know, clearly and as gently as possible, that you’re reconsidering your position in the group.  Don’t leave them hanging.  You owe them that much.

To some, lying to cover for a misdeed would be showing loyalty, to others, to stand by the truth and force your friend to stand up to their mistakes is the true showing of loyalty.  Make sure you’re on the same page with that one before you get the call from your friend’s wife asking if he was there at the last poker night (when he wasn’t).

What are you willing to do?  Where do you draw the line?  How many levels of “friendship” do you have?  Have you ever thought about it?  It might be something to consider, I know I have.

From: Twitter, undocumented feed (my bad)
confirmed at: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100412201924AAbthaq (halfway down)
unknown : the source is unattributed, but all over the internet
Photo by Roy Montgomery