A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle unless there be two. – Seneca
What does that mean?
This is a reminder that it takes Two to Tango. Just walk away. There is no rule in life that says you must take on all who disagree with you.
Your ego may say different, but you don’t have to engage everyone. Yes, the trolls on the internet can be fun to smack around, but is it worth the effort?
Not every point matters. We can pick our battles and only fight for what has true meaning. The rest we can simply walk away and leave. It doesn’t mean you lost, it just wasn’t worth the fight.
And sometimes the fight costs more than vacating the field of battle. And rather than fight, can you find a way to work things out? Not everything needs to be settled in a head to head fight. See if you can move around them, and gain your objective without a fight.
Why is picking your battles important?
It is always important to recognize the battles you either cannot win, or will end up costing far more to fight than you will gain. Those are battles not worth fighting, right? That is the very definition of a Pyrrhic Victory. And that is not something you want to do on a regular basis.
And while sometimes a battle must be fought, in my experience, more often than not there is a better way to solve the issue at hand, if both can back down from war footing. If you can step away and let tempers cool, a negotiation can often take place where a rougher solution was pending.
Instead, some analysis would be useful in deciding what to do, and when to do it. Sometimes a battle is best delayed until a better opportunity presents itself. Other times it may be better to negotiate a settlement wherein you get more than you would in a crushing defeat.
The trick, if you can do it, is substantial. You have to keep your head about you, and analyze both what you might gain by engaging in a quarrel or battle. You must also consider what you might lose, and consider the odds and the chance luck might play in the encounter. Do you feel lucky?
Where can I apply this in my life?
That would largely depend on how often you quarrel with others, or even with yourself. Yes, yourself. How often do you debate, or even fight yourself? I have done it, as have many I know. It usually occurs as a result of not having a good idea as to what exactly you want, or having conflicting desires.
As with the other kinds of quarrels or battles, an internal one is usually best settled with a truce and a parley. Weigh options and try to find a path which will attain all the objectives, even if some are delayed or deferred. Making a deal or bartering is a way all can win, even if it’s just you.
Where else in your life do you tend to get into quarrels? Do you know or work with people who seem to like to do battle? Some people do not want to find a win-win solution, they relish in making you lose. In cases like this, the only thing you can do is to walk away, and refuse to engage.
That isn’t very satisfying to the ego, but if you can keep the emotions to a minimum and keep your mind engaged, you will find it often is the best possible path. And if you can keep your mind ahead of your emotion, you might even find a way to blunt their next attack before they even start.
The point of the quote is that you have the option of not engaging in the quarrel, to refuse to do battle. History is full of armies chasing each-other, with first one, then the other party refusing to engage when the conditions did not favor them.
Sometimes the best strategy you have is to run away and live to fight another day. Or, more likely to reserve your strength and assets for a more advantageous time and place. But try to remember that it might be even better to avoid the confrontation and try to negotiate instead.
The point is that with negotiation, if you win, you win. If you cannot gain a satisfactory result from negotiation, you can always fall back on the standard methods of quarreling and battling. If you start with the quarrel or battle, and find no resolve, what reason does the other party have to negotiate with a weak opponent?
Yes, things can be settled to some extent with a quarrel or a battle. But it usually just results in one injustice being piled on another and the quarrel going back and forth for an extended period of time. See the Hatfield-McCoy feud for how well that works out.
And that is all the more reason to walk away. Yes, your pride may take a little damage, but what will be damaged by taking on the quarrel or battle? Your health? Your wealth? Your family? Your reputation? Is it really worth it? Or can you let it go?
From: Twitter, @mister_quotes
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/l/luciusanna154985.html
Photo by Sheri