Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.

Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.Tony Robbins

Is this appreciation or expectation? Is it any better when you do it?

Is this appreciation or expectation? Is it any better when you do it? Don’t be a bird brain!

What does that mean?
This quote is about attitude, and how it can impact our perception of the world around us. It also changes how we interpret the things which go on around us.

It is quite a different feeling, expecting something, as compared to appreciating something. In one case, you feel owed, and in the other you feel awed. Think about that for a moment.

Expectation is also looking forward to what you hope to gain, or looking to the past for what you had or had not received. Expectation has no room for the present.

Appreciation, on the other hand is strictly about right here and right now. You appreciate what you have, and what is around you. Your assets as well as your possibilities, both in the present, a far more productive place to be.

Why is attitude important?  
Our attitude determines our altitude. If you want to move up, your attitude has to be positive. Not sunshine and smiles, although it doesn’t hurt, but realistic and forward thinking. If you are content to sink lower and lower, a down or negative attitude will accomplish that task quite quickly.

Our attitude also impacts those around us. Have you ever been in a room with a normal level of energy and activity and had a person with a real bad attitude walk in? The conversational tone changes, usually quieter, and people start looking around, even if they didn’t see them enter. Spooky.

The flip side of that is when someone with a truly positive and energetic attitude comes into an otherwise normal room. The chatter picks up speed, and gets a little louder. Where do you think the term ‘positive buzz’ comes from? A positive attitude like that is what every marketer wants around their product.

And we are also products. Whether you’re trying to sell your qualifications to your boss, to that person you are hoping to date, or otherwise exert influence, you are in sales. A positive attitude will help far more than a negative one, right? You’ve probably seen it from both sides, and a positive attitude works better.

Where can I apply this in my life?
I would say that anyplace in your life where you have expectations, you should consider exchanging that attitude for one of appreciation instead. That might not seem like much of a change, until you realize that when you have an expectation, you are placing a demand on the other person or persons.

Yes, there are certain things we do demand of others, but most of us, myself included, demand far more than we should. How would things be in your life if there were fewer demands regarding what you must do and more appreciation for the things you do? Would that make your life a little more pleasant?

Now that doesn’t mean that by appreciating the things others do for you, that you must be a door mat and simply accept whatever they give you. There are still standards which must be met. But if all you ever do is yell and never praise, your life isn’t going to go as smoothly as it could.

It goes back to the old saying: “You will attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.” I never did understand why anyone would want flies, but it applies to people as well. Which do you think would get a better result; lectures about expectations or statements of appreciation for things done?

This, I have found, works especially well with teens, or at least mine. Yes, I still have to give the lecture from time to time, but I try to appreciate what they manage to do, however small or how imperfectly done. My kids react far better to praise than to lectures, but then so did I.

Take a moment and consider where in your life you tend to demand or expect things from others without expressing your appreciation at least as often. Go through all aspects of your life, from family to friends, work to social, and everything between. How often do you expect and how often do you appreciate?

Grab some paper and write these times or situations down. Now take a moment to see if you can spot a pattern. Are there times when you are consistently more expectant and less appreciative? What is the underlying belief which drives that? Are you the Person In Charge, and others must do as you say?

What can you do to tone down the expectations and demands, and work a little more appreciation into your life? And if you’re up for a real challenge, try to take a whole day with no expectation, and respond to everything you possibly can with appreciation.

It can be challenging, but it is also quite rewarding. Even if you mess up a few times, it will still be one of the best days of your life.

From: Twitter, @AR_Foundation
confirmed at : https://twitter.com/tonyrobbins/status/192325468035366912 which is from his own timeline
Photo by Sarah Cartwright

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2 Responses to Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.

  1. Ted 24 January 2014 at 4:51 pm #

    Expectations are okay as long as I keep them realistic and don’t turn them demands.

    • philosiblog 24 January 2014 at 11:55 pm #

      Indeed. The trick of this is the exact definition of expectation. To some, it is more hopeful, and that sounds like the way you are using it. For others, it is a bit more demanding, and that is what I hope all of us can learn to reduce or even eliminate from our lives.

      Thanks for stopping by and for leaving a comment, and I hope to hear from you again.

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