The real source of inner strength and self-confidence is warm-heartedness. - Dalai Lama
What does that mean?
This quote is about the ideas of a very wise man for attaining both inner strength, and self-confidence. To me, those are both very important things to have.
Inner strength gives you the ability to do what must be done and resist that which must be resisted. Self-confidence gives you the inner conviction that you are doing the right thing and take the first step towards a worthy goal, despite the fear and uncertainty.
The key, according to the quote, is warm-heartedness. But being warm-hearted isn’t always easy. But when you are, you will have strength. When you are, you will have confidence. When you are, you will open yourself up to being hurt. But if you are not, you will be hurt even more, in my opinion.
Why is warm-heartedness important?
what is warm-heartedness anyway? To me, it is just what it says, you have a very warm and welcoming heart. You treat people kindly, you show them respect, and you listen with both your ears and your heart. People will notice, and you will begin to have confidence and strength.
Yes, you will also get noticed by some who want the opportunity to inflict injury, pain, or humiliation on you. But their actions usually only backfire on themselves, if you maintain your confidence and rely on your inner strength to carry you through the difficulties.
There will, of course, be times when it seems like all your warm-heartedness does is bring you pain. But that too shall pass. Everything moves in cycles, and your bad days will be replaced with ones that are good. If you have the confidence and strength to carry on.
Where can I apply this in my life?
To me, this is another one of those quotes that is more about how you live your life, than on any one specific part. Warm-heartedness, according to the quote, is the answer. Take a moment and consider what might the question be, if that is the answer.
To me, the obvious question is where in your life do you want more inner strength? Where in your life do you want more self-confidence? Take a moment and consider your past, a few days, a few weeks, a few months or more, until you can find a couple of times when you would have wanted more of either (or both) of those qualities.
Now that you have some ideas, let’s grab some paper and jot them down, with some space between them. You have the when on the list, let’s put down why you would have done better with more of these qualities. Take a moment and jot down a few notes next to each item on your list.
Is there a theme in your situations or in what you would have needed to have done better? Are there certain situations that show up repeatedly? For me, meeting new people is a place where I really need both inner strength and a lot more self confidence.
All the usual questions run through my head as I approach them. Sometimes, I just keep on walking, being too nervous (a nicer word for afraid). Other times, I am so lacking in self-confidence that I have trouble talking, which is rarely a way to make a great first impression.
I believe that if I could manage to be more warm-hearted, that I could overcome most of these problems. By focusing on what they need, what they desire, putting them at ease, I would have very little time left in which to be nervous, right?
And by keeping myself focused on being helpful to them, that doesn’t take much inner strength or self-confidence to accomplish, does it? For me, it’s only tough when I try to make everything about me. I guess I don’t have enough practice at being selfish. 8)
How about you? For each item on your list, how would a little more strength or confidence help you in those situations? Could being a little more warm-hearted help you focus more on their needs, and would that help you better handle the situation?
So far, it appears to be working fairly well for me, and I hope it will work well for you. See if your feeling of lack of strength or lack of confidence fades when you open your heart, and focus on what the other person wants, and not on what you want.